Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

seventy-six: only heartache and heart break

After a couple minutes, Brendon actually texted me to tell me that he was on his way over. 

It turned out that no one was home anyways, so I was able to successfully avoid any interrogations. I should have known no one was going to be there anyways; they never are. I was still a little bit high, but I walked out into my living room to wait for him anyways, knowing I needed to talk about this with him.

I heard a knock on the door, which was odd because Brendon would usually just let himself in. I walked over to it and opened it to find an upset looking Brendon, and I stepped aside to let him in without saying another word. He walked in and into the living room without saying anything until I entered the room behind him and he turned around to face me. 

"Why were you over at Robin's house?" he asked. 

"I went to the park to cry everything out and she found me there," I said. "She offered to let me come over and smoke and relax." 

He scoffed. "The girl you practically made out with took you back to her house to 'smoke and relax' right after you get into a fight with your boyfriend." He put air quotations up when he said "smoke and relax." 

"Oh chill out, Brendon," I said back equally as snippy. "Dallon was there too and you should know that I wouldn't do anything even if he wasn't." 

His jaw set and he crossed his arms. "You went to someone that was basically a stranger with your problems."

"First of all, Dallon is not a stranger and second of all, Robin was actually there for me," I snapped, crossing my arms as well. 

"You shut me out!" He yelled. 

"You got pissed because I wouldn't have sex with you!" I yelled back. 

"You should have come to me about it, Charlie! Not Robin," he uncrossed his arms and I sighed, turning away and sitting on the couch without another word. 

I closed my eyes, realizing my hands were shaking as I wrenched them between each other, twisting them in my hands. This was becoming too much. I can't handle this right now, not with everything going on that's weighing me down right now. 

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, not yelling anymore thankfully and I opened my eyes but didn't look up at him. 

"We need to take a break." 

"What?" Brendon's voice cracked. I looked up at him and his face was now showing a look of panic, and I knew this wasn't going to be easy. 

"I need some space," I said, standing up. "I need to sort out whatever is going on in my head."

"What's going on in your head?" he asked. "Charlie you're not making sense. Please don't do this."

"Please, Brendon, don't make this harder than it has to be." I made the mistake of looking at him now, and his eyes were full of tears. I walked to the door and he followed me, not putting up much of a fight anymore.

By the time I'd reached the door the tears in his eyes were spilling over his cheeks and I tried not to look at him. I couldn't give in. I knew it was hard to tell him no but I needed this. It's not healthy, the way we've been treating each other. 

I opened the door for him and he quietly walked out, turning around just long enough to say, "I love you."

"I love you, I just can't do this," I said softly, and he nodded quietly, tears still pouring from his eyes. I shut the door before I broke down completely, tears once again pouring down my own cheeks as I walked back to my bedroom. I paced around a few times while trying to catch my breath before I eventually just laid down on my bed and started crying harder than ever, my body shaking as they tears seemed to never end. 

*Brendon's Point of View*

Once I stepped out of Charlie's house, I stared at the door crying for a few minutes, shaking as I tried to comprehend everything that had just happened. 

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't mean to push her past her limits. This is what I was always afraid of doing, and it finally happened. And I didn't know how to fix it. 

I turned around and wiped my tears away even though I wanted more than ever just to sit there and sob. I needed to get home, get past my mom and get into my room. I could cry and think all I needed once I got to the comfort of my bedroom. I didn't want my mom to get involved. She would try to make us talk it out, but that's not how Charlie works. I walked back down the street to my own house, managing to keep the tears back as I walked up the steps to go inside. 

I stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath, wiping my eyes one more time before I reached for the door knob and opened it up, stepping inside. My brothers were in the living room watching something on TV. My mom was sitting at the table reading and drinking a cup of tea and my dad was in his office, typing away on his computer. Nothing was out of the ordinary and somehow that made everything worse. Nothing was fine for me and everyone else was going on like everything was perfect. Suddenly I felt like I understood a sliver of what Charlie goes through on a daily basis. 

My mom looked up from her book when she heard me walk in the front door. I kept my head turned away as I took off my jacket and shoes.

"Hey Brendon, how did it go?" she asked. 

I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't. As soon as I stood back up, the tears started up again. And this time they were worse than ever. She stood from her spot at the table, an extremely concerned look on her face. 

"Oh no honey, what happened?" she asked, walking over to me and I just hugged her, sobbing into her shoulder as she held me and rubbed my back. 

"I messed up, mom." 

-

A/N: this was short and sad sorRy i'm a sack of shit honestly. i'm trying to update more though because I have decided that there's going to be a 3rd part after this one so if you love this story as much as me (you probably don't, it's honestly shit lmao) then do not worry because there is p l e n t y more of it coming. :)