Random Blabbings

Misery

I was on IG, admiring aesthetically great pictures and the stories behind those, (and geez, you know you're spending too much time on IG when you double tap your phone's screen to vote on wattpad. guilty as charged) when one question momentarily piqued my interest.

"What's the saddest thing you've seen?"

I did not dare to see the answers of my fellow IG users, and I simply shrugged. Baka mabadtrip ako sa makikita kong sagot e.

So, I moved on and before I knew it, it's Saturday! Again! And the most boring 3 hrs of my life is looming in the corners of my morning. Brr.

( Clue: It's Humanities. And hold your horses, people! The subject is good, the professor's way of teaching is not. )

Over the entire course of my life in school, it was the first ever subject that made me fell asleep. On our first meeting.

Lemme just emphasize the word 'fell' because I did fell and jerk awake. The person sitting beside also fell out of her chair, laughing. Nalaglag daw kasi kaluluwa ko. Muntik ko na ngang sabihing wala ako no'n.

That Saturday, our third meeting, gusto ko na lumipad palayo. Seryoso. But our topic for that meeting is literature and my blood pumps happily inside of me, keeping me awake.

Yung piece of literature na babasahin namin no'n ay Misery by Anton Checov, a playwright.

The story took place in Russia, and it's about Iona Potapov, a sledge-driver who just lost his son. Isang linggo na ang lumipas mula no'ng namatay yung anak niya pero wala pa siyang napagsasabihan tungkol do'n. Ni hindi nga niya alam kung ano yung ikinamatay ng anak niya. Sa sakit ba? O sa iba pa?

Sinubukan niyang ikwento yun sa mga pasahero niya nung gabing yun, but no one wants to listen. Nobody paid him attention, too absorbed in their own worlds. Sa huli, umuwi siya sa tinutuluyan ng mga katulad niyang sledge-driver. Tulala, tuliro, pagod pero hindi kailangan ng pisikal na pahinga.

May isang nagising sa pagdating niya, and he thought someone was finally willing to listen. But the guy fell asleep in the middle of Iona's sentiments. Malalim na ang gabi, wala pang sapat na kita, at wala ring taong nakikinig kaya nagpasya niyang balikan yung kabayo niya sa kwadra. He told everything to his mare.

The story ended there.

Nakakaiyak? Nope. Not really. Pero nakakapanlumo.

Karamihan sa mga kaklase ko, napa-aww after reading the story. Kaso hanggang do'n lang.

They know that kind of story exists in reality and yet, nobody made a move. No one wants to change something so miserable because hey, we also have our own problems 'no? We also deals with our own demons so why bother lending a shoulder? Why make someone's load lighter? Sigurado ka nga bang mapapagaan rin niya ang dala mong bagahe?

Pagkauwi ko, nagbukas ako ng social media accounts. Baka kasi may mahalagang pangyayari sa buhay ng iilang taong binibigyan ko ng pake.

At nalunod naman ako. Nalunod ako sa dami ng posts/tweets ng ilang tao tungkol sa mga problema nila sa buhay. Sa hirap ng pananatiling buhay. Sa pagod na hindi naiibsan ng kahit anong pahinga. Sa iilang hibla na lang ang kapit nila sa katinuan. Sa dilim na hindi nila makita ang liwanag.

Nanlumo ako. One of them was even great at expressing his thoughts in words. He skillfully maneuvered the words to post something that's practically dripping in sadness. . . I just want to hug him. And then bang his head at the wall.

I am not against the notion of letting your thoughts out, but I am against the notion of posting something terribly sad on a platform that tons of people could read. It's destructive.

Even my (favorite) prof is against posting such on Facebook. Halos mabali nga yung leeg ko kakatango sa kanya nung sinabi niya yun.

And then, I was struck with a realization on the aforementioned question. And story.

Compared to Iona Potapov, nowadays, the saddest thing I have ever seen, is someone pouring all his/her thoughts on social media because he/she couldn't find someone in real life who cares enough to listen. Because someone giving a damn is too rare. Too scarce. Too. . . outdated. Tsk.

And overall, it freaking sucks.

To you, who miraculously reads this blab, let's lessen the numbers of misery. Please.

Hit that message button. Or in the comments section.

I am listening. :')