Random Blabbings

An open letter to you.

It's not a good day. From the moment I woke up until the moment I get to school.

I'm in the mood to lash out at anyone who'll dare to irritate me.

And goodness gracious, everything, from social media craps and negativity to my classmate who thought her face will get her a good life, seems to trigger that irritation until someone asked me, “anong problema mo?”

I was stunned.

It was a bad day. I understand that we all have bad days, and we have our own ways of dealing with it. Well, mine is sitting on a corner as I contemplate why I shouldn't commit a mass murder—kidding.

Natahimik ako. Ano nga bang problema ko?

Ah. Naiirita kasi ako sa sarili ko because I'm trying to figure out how fake people can get. How could you go and smile and deal with other people bearing such a fake smile? How could you?

Tapos natanong ko ang sarili ko. Ba't ko ba prinoproblema kung plastic o peke ang isang tao sa pakikitungo niya?

Ah. Bothered ako kasi ayako ng gano'n sa buhay ko.

I freaking hate it!

I don't need your smile if it's not real. I don't need your company if it's not genuine. I don't need your presence in my life if you can't be real.

Get the heck away from my life because I could bleed negativity on my own and I don't need your contribution. I don't need mind games. I don't need motives. I don't even need you but hey, no man is an island 'no?

So, here's a tip. I know I'm not the most lovable person out there who bleeds rainbows and positivity and unicorns and other cringy things but please, if you want to know me, be honest with me. Be raw. Be you. The you who's hurting. The you who's confused. The you who's living life to the fullest—immaculate conception—just. be. you.

Don't taint a beautiful canvas just for the heck of it.

Hindi ako magaling sa pakikitungo sa mga tao kaya maniwala ka kapag sinabi kong mas hindi ako marunong magtimpi sa pekeng tao. You either be real with me, or get the heck away from me.

You either exist, or you don't.

You either exist, or you don't.

You either exist, or you don't.

PS. People should srsly stop asking me questions 'cause I always ends up blabbing!

/screams/