The Next Generation

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

My sense of smell was the first to come in. It smelled clean, like bleach and chemicals. My ability to touch came next, the cold metal at my fingertips. My taste followed, metallic from my dry mouth. A steady beat that was slowly increasing, getting louder in my ear. As my eyes fluttered open my suspicions of being in a hospital was confirmed. As I turn my head, I saw my twin with his head in his hands.

"David?" My voice was hoarse. His head shot up and a look of relief flashed on his face. He rushed to the side of the hospital bed, grabbing my hand.

"Hey sis," he gave me a weak smile. I noticed a stubble growing on his face. I reached up to touch it, David leaned into it.

"How long was I out of it?" His face fell at my question.

"A week. You really scared us, Lila."

"I'm sorry David."

"Don't be, just promise to let me in this time."

I can't believe myself. I was really selfish. How could I do this to my family? They care for me and I just closed myself in. a warm liquid streamed down my face.

"Don't cry Lila, fuck don't cry." Tears fell freely from his eyes and down his face.

"I'm so sorry David, I'm so sorry. " I choked out.

He got into the bed with me as we cried. I soon fell asleep in the comfort of my twins arms.

I went home two long days later. I smelled awful but that was my fault. I refused to take a shower in the hospital showers. I don't know why but public showers gross me out.

I was informed of a celebration, a welcome home type thing. Selah has been home for a couple of weeks and we are ready for the pass around stage. I'm sure it would've been sooner but I messed that one up. Everyone seemed to be grim, even the kids. Nobody looked me in the eye. Dinner was the worst. All you could hear was the clank of silverware. No one looked up from their plates.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears threatening to spill at my eyes edge. Everything went silent.

"What was that darling?" Mom asked.

"I messed up. I'm sorry," The tears spilled down my cheeks. I stood and ran. David was the first out of his chair.

*** David's POV ***

"David sit!" Owen commanded. "Sang and Dakota, wait a minute and then go check on her. Remember what Young Doctor Roberts said, tread carefully. She has shown that she is still hurting. She will open up when she is ready." Nods were seen around the table.

<3<3<3 Delilah <3<3<3

I sat in my bed, covered by my blankets, crying. I messed up, life would never be the same again.

A knock on my door silenced my sobs. "Come in."

Father and Mother were at the door, both faces paled when they saw me. Neither said a word just sandwiched me in a bone crushing hug., holding me as I cried. About an hour later, mom spoke up.

"What's wrong baby girl?"

"I did you all so wrong."

"Baby you only did us wrong by not telling us and letting us know that you are still hurting. But we also did you wrong. As your father, I should've seen changes in your behavior and I should've seen that you were not ok after you stopped going to therapy. Since you woke up I've been thanking whoever is watching from above us for letting David find you so that we still have you today."

"I would like to apologize for my at the dinner table."

"You have nothing to-" Mom started before dad interrupted her.

"Let her Sang, it's her choice."

I went down to the dining room where everyone was still sitting. I sat in my seat.

"I'm sorry for my behavior." An uproar occurred directed towards dad. As the others yelled a loud whistle came from behind me.

"Y'all better check yourselves," Mom yelled. "This was Delilah's choice."

"I should've been aware of the audience and not outburst like that in front of the kids. " I took a deep wavering breath before continuing to control the tears. "I want them to know that suicide is a dangerous thought and if they ever have it, they should talk to someone who can help. I want them to grow up happy and not have to go what I did. And I'm really sorry I didn't come to you about it, I guess I'm not over what happened that night."