There'll Be Peace When You Are Done

Just A Week

Heading back to the nursery, I set Parker in his crib next to Charlotte. With both being asleep, I crossed the hall into my room and grabbed a few things.

That included a pillow, blanket, few pairs of shorts and light shirts, and Dean's worn, old flannels.

I marched back into the babies room shutting the door behind me. I just wanted to be as close as I could with them. Three months is a long time to be away from your children. I guess now I could see where Dean was coming from when he was torn looking for me all those years ago.

With that all in the past, I placed my things in the rocking chair and took a seat. Rocking a few times back and fourth, I got up and felt my stomach rumble. Rolling my eyes, I checked in on the babies to make sure they were okay before opening the door to grab something from the kitchen.

Pushing the door open,I slowly walked out and shut the door behind me. Turning back around I bumped into Cas.

"Emily, they are my children too. I would like to see them-"

"I gave birth to them. I had to carry them for 6 months. I think I reserve the right to have them right now. And so help me God if I find out that you went in-" I pushed past him hitting his shoulder in the process.

"Emily-" Cas grabbed my wrist and instantly an old memory flashed through my eyes. Of when Cas, Dean, and Sam were holding me down and wouldn't let me get to my children.

Yanking my hand from his grasp the flashback shut down and I could see his facial expression. He saw it. He saw my flashback. I forgot he, or well we could do that sometimes. Shit! Oh well, whatever. Let him see it.

"What was that? Was that us hurting you?"
Cas asked but I just ignored him and walked away. Unknowingly beginning to rub at my arm where he held me tight.

I made it into the kitchen hoping no one was in there. Giving out a big sigh when I saw Sam sitting at the table with his laptop. We connected eye contact then I broke it off by sliding over to the fridge for some food.

Finding nothing, I moved onto the cupboard where I found a box of crackers that seemed alright. But before I could leave Sam called out to me.

"Em-" He asked and I heard him stand up.

I kept my face towards the wall not wanting to turn and give him any answer.

"Emily please-" Sam walked right behind me and I jumped back before he could grab my shoulder. "Woah, easy. I'm not going to hurt you. Not now. Not ever." And with him saying that my mind flashed back to when he was using all of his strength to hold my shoulders down. Digging deeper and deeper causing the pain to rise and my body to crumble. "Emily!" Sam yelled snapping me back.  He noticed the tears falling from my face and handed me a tissue but I turned away and walked out.

The tears coming more and more constant down my cheeks, I headed into the library to grab a book or two to keep myself occupied. Catching Dean's attention at first glance he was still sitting in the seat I had left him from a while ago.

He raised his head and his eyes never left me. I grabbed my books and left. It tore at me to feel like this. To feel like they would hurt me or hurt the babies but I needed my time. My three months back. This life, the hunter life, was nothing for a family. So all the time I had with them I needed to use wisely and not make any mistakes.

Cas still stood outside the door pondering straight a head. He connected with me but I scurried into the nursery, slamming the door behind me. I threw the box a head of me and broke down, sliding down the door till my head was collapsed into my hands.