Bloodied hands and brusied bodies (Billdip)

Why?

A/N: Shoutout to BringOnTheBigBooks. Sorry for not updating sooner I've been lazy and I'm not gonna lie to you I let Voltron take over my life but I seriously love the show it is amazing.  Hope you enjoy the chapter! Also feel free to listen to the song at any point. It's not really essential to the chapter I just really like the song.

Chapter 20

Bill's POV
Its been days since I've seen Pine Tree. He hasn't once reached out to me. If I didn't feel so guilty and heartbroken then I would visit him in his dreams. Even though Pine Tree had explained what heartbroken felt like to me I never understood it until now. Until the only being in this miniscule universe, the only being on the insignificant planet of earth had left me. My mindscape is mess. It's falling apart at the seems yet I do nothing about it. I can't bring myself to care anymore. I mean what's the point if Pine Tree hates me? What's the point of caring or feeling at all? I tried to go back, to speak to him but Shooting Star yelled at me and Fez threatened me. They made it very clear I wasn't welcome there...I miss him. I really do. But it seems fate is motherfucker who loves to watch me suffer. Ford got back, I saw him arrive as I left. It boils my blood to know I can no longer protect Pine Tree from him that I can't do anything when he doesn't want me. I sit here amidst this chaos and I find it ironic how a dream demon of chaos can find it all so...unfulfilling. As the flames get higher and the ground falls away I can't help but cry, so that's what I do. I cry as the world falls apart.
Dipper's POV
I wince in pain as I cover my scars with make up and bandage the new cut on back. Without bill- I immediately stop my train of thought not wanting to go there. I'm better off without him...I don't need him...I don't want him...he's gone now and I'm glad. I nod as I convince myself it's fine and I'm fine. Why lie to yourself? A part of me asks. Because why face the truth if the truth hurts more? I retort. And it's true. It's so much easier to convince yourself than be true to yourself. I sigh and go about my business getting ready for school and getting breakfast. At least after school will be fun. I'll be able to go monster hunting and mystery solving without being contested. With that thought playing in my head I drag myself out the door with my overly cheerful twin and her loud charming girlfriend. "I never even liked him anyway bro bro I just put on a face for you...I didn't trust him and I was right not to!" Mabel said skipping slightly ahead while me and Pacifica hung back. "He was a bastard and I'm glad you finally saw that." Pacifica stated. "Guys this isn't helping you know..." I say quietly. "Sorry Dipper...it's just how we feel..." Pacifica said softly rubbing my arm comfortingly. I sighed "I know." We walked in silence after that. The day went by in blur I found it hard to concentrate looking at the empty seat that is--was Bill's. By the time school ended I was so out of it I didn't hear Almor calling for me until he was shouting in my face. "Whoa dude what hell?!" I shouted jumping back flinching slightly. "Dude I've been calling you for the last five minutes I had run down the hill to reach you...you kinda zombied out bro." Almor replied flashing a grin. Oh. "Sorry dude." I mumble as I continue to walk Almor following. "So where's Cipher I haven't seen him all day and you two are practically biologically joined at the hip." Almor asked looking around expecting to see Bill pop out of nowhere like he usually does when people talk about him. "He's not here and he won't be coming back." I say coldly. I see Almor visibly flinch at the tone. "Bro...did something happen?" Almor asked hesitantly. "We got...into a fight a few days ago...we broke up." I say walking slightly ahead. "To be specific I broke up with him....and he deserved it." I spat. "Dip...bro...you...broke up with Cipher and are fine with it?" Almor asked shocked and slightly on edge. "Yes." I replied and kept walking leaving Almor behind.
~Timeskip to the woods because it's 1am here and I'm tired~
I always felt at home in the woods I always felt safe and free. But now I feel regret and loneliness as I walk through the overgrowth. The woods no longer feels like home but instead an abandoned cottage long forgotten holding no sense of warmth or security. It's unnerving. Maybe monster hunting isn't the best idea today... I decide as I start to walk back. I get in at somewhere around 5pm. I hear voices from the kitchen but I don't feel like eating so I head upstairs  put my headphones and flop on my bed blasting I'll be good by Jaymes Young. (A/N: Which is exactly what I'm doing right now. I really love the song. It's different to what I usually listen to that being rock, heavy metal, mcr and patd or classical but I do love relaxing music.) The song reminded him of Bill and how he must of felt after getting feelings and deciding to do good instead of let his chaos run wild. I sighed. As much as I hated to admit life without Bill was boring but then again it was quiet and I need some quiet after all the shits that's happened. Yeah quiet is good... and maybe life without Bill isn't so bad after all maybe it'll be better. The exhaustion today has brought me washes over me like a tidal wave and as the music lulls me to sleep I smile and think. A life without Bill....how intresting that will be.

A/N: Hey guys so I know it's short and I'm sorry it's just it's like 1:20 am, I'm tired. I tried I'm sorry I've been gone so long. Be glad my girlfriend motivated me to update xD and to all those who were hoping for Bill and Dipper to make up I'm this chapter:
Nope. Gotta make ya'll want this. It would just be too nice to put them back together straight away this is supposed to be angsty so let the angst rain from above with your tears. Hope you enjoyed. I'm sorry it was short.

~ST99