Hashtag Balahura

A Letter to My Ex

Hoy,

Sometimes I feel stupid for allowing myself to get hurt by you when I all had the chance to just skip you and your part in my life so that I don’t have to feel that pain.  But thank you for letting me go. I have learned a lot.

I had mixed feelings about writing this letter. Inaamin ko naman na minahal kita. Sobra. Para tayong sina Popoy at Basha noon. We fight a lot over small things but there’s a lot of happy moments atleast. We treasured every moment together. Or at least I thought we did. You chose to break my heart and change me forever. You took my stregth, but I have fill it -three times. I became stronger, and thank you for that.

All I thought, binibigay ko na lahat ng nararapat. I was 100% supportive to whatever endeavor you take, I was always there when you needed someone, but for you that wasn’t enough. Hindi ako naging sapat. I let you follow your dreams. Kahit na alam kong mahirap at masakit kasi ang totoo niyan hindi ako fan ng LDR o long distance relationship na ‘yan. I trusted you. I trusted you that you won’t ever break my heart. But you did.

The moment you flew overseas was the start of it. You left all the connections you had with this old place –even the red string that binds us. I was hopeful that you’d come back and there’s no one around you but our memories. I was wrong. I asked you once if you could give me just a strand of your time so we could work things out which you granted. Ang akala ko maaayos pa.
Until this random guy on my Facebook newsfeed appeared on my wall one day.  I saw both of you, together, going on a trip together and doing some stuff I never imagined. It was so hard to accept the first time I saw it. But I had to tap my stupid self and wake up from the dellusions I had with you -there is no longer rainbows and unicorns between us.

It’s over.

Hindi ko inakalang aabot sa ganito ang lahat. Buong akala ko’y ang pangarap ko lang ang dahilan kung bakit ka umalis. I let you chase your dream, but you chase somethingelse. Someonelse. I’m not sure when things started going south. We were an ideal pair. What went wrong? Ang hirap nang balikan ang mga moments na kasama kita, masaya at walang problema.  I can only remember the times you tore my heart into pieces.
I will forgive you for breaking my heart. Wala naman na akong magagawa diba? Despite all that’s happened between us, I thank you for making me realize that I deserve so much better than you and what we had.

I deserve someone better. Please don’t ever come back. I am no longer in the same place you’d expect me to be. 

Sincerely,
Why