Roses ➳ Shawn Mendes [2] ✓

Chapter 5

Signe had her heart broken before, but never the way her it broke this time. It was as if Shawn had stomped on her heart mercilessly, throwing away her already scarred heart. She had been stabbed before and that was one of the most terrible pains she ever felt, the pain she was feeling currently was as painful, if not worse. She would prefer to be stabbed again than feeling what she was feeling.

"We broke up Blake, that's what happened. He said he couldn't give me what I needed." She began explaining, the words coming out of her mouth sounding weird to her ears. She continued to tell him about their break up until there was nothing left to tell. The blond boy didn't say anything for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the television in front of them.

"How fucking dares he?" Blake rose his voice all of the sudden causing Signe to jump beside him. Her eyes widened towards the boy's reactions. She was expecting him to not be happy, but not to explode like that. "He fucking knows how hard it was for you and then throws that at your face like that?"

Since the girl didn't answer, Blake kept going.

"He's lucky he is in Europe because if he was here I'd punch him straight in the jaw! So soon he wouldn't be saying shit like that." He got up, throbbing veins possible to be seen in his neck and went to the kitchen only to come back to the living room. He stopped in front of the ginger, studied her and then began walking back and forth, unable to sit down again. " I had to hear him winning for so long for him to fuck this up? Not only he fucked this up, he also hurt you. Fucking asshole."

The ginger just kept staring at him, without knowing what to say. Signe wanted to calm him down, yet she felt that if she spoke it would only make things worse.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. Shawn is my best friend, but I can't tolerate this." Blake said with a sigh. He sat down next to the girl and pulled her closer to him. "You are my best friend too cookie and what he did wasn't right. I get it. He's scared of losing you but goddamn, he did not have to say that."

"Why would he be scared of losing me, if he already did?"

"I don't know how to answer that."

"Blake...if you don't mind me asking. What happened to you and Delilah?" Signe inquired. They were now both going through heart break and in her eyes he seemed to be dealing with it better than her. It was true she couldn't compare three years with six months, but time is meaningless when it comes to loving someone.

"She went to Europe too. She got an internship she couldn't refuse. Our break up was mutual. None of us would handle the distance." The boy explained with a sad smile. "I'm pretty sure you and Shawn would have made it, but no, that idiot had to ruin it up didn't he?"

"I'd like to believe so, but what's the point of believing it now?" Signe inquired as she lied her head on Blake's chest. She felt tears threatening to fall and she hated herself for going back to being weak. "I wish I could be like you. You are strong and I'm just..."

"Don't you dare to finish that sentence, Wilson." Blake warned as he rubbed her arm. "I'm not strong. I'm pathetic, to be honest with you. I bottle up everything inside until I can't take. Last time it happened, I could have died."

"I can relate." That caused Blake to do a half smile for brief seconds before it disappeared. "You're not pathetic Blake. You just have a different way of dealing with feels."

"There you go. You are not whatever negative thing you were going to say about yourself. You are strong in your own way. While you show your feelings, I hide them away." He said while the girl looked at the television, not really paying attention to the TV show it was streaming.

"Hey Blake."

"Yes, cookie?"

"Are you still looking for a roommate?" Signe inquired. Lately, the blond haired boy had been searching for someone he could share his apartment with so the bills could be divided and easier to pay which would help him save more money for college. However, he wasn't successful. Now that Signe began thinking of being alone in the house where her thoughts could consume her so easily she wished to have someone else with her.

"Yeah, I'm not lucky enough though." He replied with a low voice. That issue was clearly bothering him, as he wanted to find someone as soon as he could. All the money he could save now would be a great advantage.

"Can I be your roommate?" The ginger sat straight beside her friend to look him in the eyes. His blues eyes glimmered with excitement, his face lighting up with happiness.

"Are you serious?"

She nodded. At any other time, she would be able to reciprocate his excitement, yet she was still feeling like she was drowning, more and more closer to the bottom of the deep sea where the light provided from the sun was getting weaker and fading, the water becoming darker and colder, the surface so far away from her reach, her tears mixing with the salty ocean. The water was everyone's beginning and could be her ending.

"Well, Signe Wilson, you are now my roommate." Blake exclaimed, this time without smiling. Not because he wasn't happy, but because he noticed nothing would make Signe smile. He couldn't blame her, he knew how much the girl loved Shawn and how hard it would be to get over something like that.

"I'm going to get my stuff. Just clothes and all that jazz." The ginger told him as she got up. The boy glanced at her with surprise. 

"You want to go now?"

"Yeah, I don't wanna stay here." Signe replied. She turned around and left Blake by himself in the living room. She climbed the stairs quickly, opened the door to her room at stared at it for brief seconds. She knew one day she would have to leave that room behind, the house she grew up would just be that, the house in which she grew up and built many memories safely protected by the walls. She rushed to get all the clothes she could get, once her mother comes back with her stepfather she would go get the rest. For now, the clothes Signe had put inside a bag - she took from her closet, hidden behind a messy pile of clothes she still had to get rid off -was enough. She returned to Blake who happened to have Signe's house spare keys on his hands.

"Where did you get them?" She inquired as she watched him play with the keys.

"Found them outside hidden under the carpet when I decided to park my car decently while you slept." Blake explained as he handed them with a soft smile. Signe grabbed them and put it back where it belonged. "Anyways, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Lemme just turn off the TV and let's go."

After turning off the television they left Signe's house behind and went to Blake's car where they stood for a few minutes, with Blake driving her to their apartment. It was incredible how the world decided to throw at her the person she wanted forget by playing one of Shawn's song on the radio. She was about to reach for the car's radio when Blake did it for her first, tuning into another radio station. None of them spoke about it, pretending nothing had happened. Unfortunately, Signe could only escape the thoughts devouring her mind, but not her aching heart. 

There wasn't need any home guide tour, considering Signe had been in Blake's apartment plenty of times before, the last time she was there was for the small party they threw to congratulate Maddie in going to Africa. It seemed like it had been a long time ago when things were easier and happier. Blake's apartment was small, the kitchen and living room sharing the same four walls, it was nicely decorated with simple furniture, bringing more life and color to the place with paintings of quotes hanging on the walls Maddie had done - she decided to let her inner artist out and that had turned her into a happier person - then there was a small hallway leading to three doors, the first on the left was the only bathroom that Signe and Blake would have to share, in front of the bathroom was the room the ginger would have and then the door at the right which was Blake's room. 

"I'll leave you alone for a while, but you are going to watch a horror movie with me. If I can't make you laugh, I can make you scared."

Signe rolled her eyes at her friend and went to her new room. She would have a long time to make that room hers. She'd probably look for some paintings or something else to hang on the naked walls as for now a bed would suffice. The girl put the clothes she had brought with her on the closet and without noticing she had begun crying again as if her body had waited until she was able to cry again. She walked over to her new bed, sat down and buried her face in her hands.

How was she supposed to get over someone who was so important to her like he was? Someone who brought her so much happiness and made her feel so loved. How was she supposed to forget him? 

It was simple.

She couldn't.