Roses ➳ Shawn Mendes [2] ✓

Chapter 24

| Shawn |

He had to do something and that was for sure. After seeing Signe's Instagram story it had become more than clear that he had to think about something to do, before whoever that boy she was with would win over her heart. That is if he hadn't done that already. Shawn sighed in frustration blocking his phone and leaving it on the couch next to where he was sitting before he got up and began walking back and forth in the room. He was going to perform in hours and he couldn't focus on the show, the thought of the girl making his mind go crazy. He had fucked up so bad. The boy couldn't help but imagine how different things would have been if he hadn't been stupid and broken up with her. Why did he break up with her, to begin with? Why did he think he would not be able to give her love, affection, and attention? Sure, they would be less since his free time would become less as well, but it wouldn't stop Signe from believing he still loved her. Overall, it had been a foolish decision. Shawn was so afraid she would get tired of him, done with the distance and break up with him, he ended up getting so scared he broke up with her before it happened. Shawn knew he had to do something quickly or it would be too late. But what? What could he do? He couldn't leave the tour due to a girl, it wouldn't be fair to the fans. Yet, if he was feeling like she was the one for him, then it should be acceptable.

At that moment, it hit him. Shawn could write a song about it. That didn't appear to be a bad idea, so he picked up his phone, unblocked it and clicked on the notes, facing the white screen waiting to be turned into art. When inspiration hit him, he began typing, pouring his feelings down.

It's not that I'm afraid I'm not enough for her
It's not that I can't find the words to say
But when she's with him, she seems happier
And I don't wanna take that away

How many times can I see your face?
How many times will you walk away?
I just have to let you know

I'm not tryna start a fire with this flame
But I'm worried that your heart might feel the same
And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me if I'm wrong, and this is crazy
But I got you this rose and I need to know
Will you let it die or let it go?

He kept on writing, letting his feelings take hold of him while he typed everything. Once the song was finished, polished and Shawn was happy with the result someone knocked at the room's door telling him he should go rehearse. The boy decided to share the song with his bandmates and ask them to help him out on the song. They were intrigued with Shawn's request, but upon listening to his explanation as to why he wrote that song they smiled and agreed to help him. Shawn wasn't fully satisfied with only the song. A song wouldn't be enough to bring her back to him. He had written a song specifically for her, so what made this one more special? Even though Shawn had a concert to worry about, his mind refused to focus. The boy was so distracted he wondered whether he would be able to perform decently at least. Hell, it even crossed his mind to cancel and just catch the next plane towards Toronto, find the girl and talk to her. 

Later on, when the song was mostly figured it out, Shawn picked up his phone and decided to text Blake although he had been pretty clear last time they talked he wasn't going to help him, however, the boy had decided to not let their friendship go down without a fight. There was no way he was going to give up. 

Hey Blake

I know what you said last time and honestly, that's fair. What I did was awful and you have all the right to be mad at me for it. Hell...if it was the other way around I'd be too. I have no excuses to give, I'm just sorry I fucked up. I can't give up on us Blake. You helped me so much in so many ways and this won't be how I pay for all those times. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably had lost Signe a long time ago. I know what you're thinking now, I lost her now so what's the point? Well, I'm trying my best okay? Maybe it isn't enough. Maybe it never was enough, but at least I'm trying. That has to count for smth right? 

If it isn't asking too much, I'm in no way the person you'd be excited to hear from or even help, can you just give me an opinion? Please? It's just a small thing. I miss Signe so much, I'm determined to go through hell and back if it means we can be together again. So, please just help me out with this. I can figure out the rest by myself. 

I'm sorry for everything Blake.

After the message, Shawn allowed himself to sit down on the couch again. If Blake answered it would be perfect, but if he didn't Shawn wouldn't blame. Even him wasn't sure whether he would answer Blake's text or not if it was the other way around. Now, all he could do was wait and see what would happen. 

***

It was hard to focus on the performance, but once he was set in the mood of performing, his mind clearing from all the fog, everything went perfectly. The crowd vibrated at each song, increasing intensity when songs like Treat you better, Mercy, There's nothing holding me back were playing and decreasing, setting a different mood, with songs such as Honest, Three empty words and others. It hadn't been his best concert, yet he hoped it was enough to make his fans happy and not a waste or their times. 

Shawn checked his phone to find it with no replies from Blake, he was beginning to lose hope that he would even answer. He was by himself. He ran a hand through his hair, a sigh of frustration escaping his lips, anger starting to boil in his veins. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he think it would be better to let her go? Why did he not think things through? Lesson learned, think twice before acting. Or in Shawn's case, think less. Spending too much time thinking had created the scenario that got him to regret his decision.

Later on, when Shawn finally got to the hotel he was staying for the night, he went to the bathroom to take a long warm shower, trying to relax his tense muscles with the help of the water. Unfortunately, it didn't work as he expected to and he ended up going to bed still tense. He closed his eyes, attempting, once again, to clean his mind from everything and it was working until his phone began ringing, Blake's name lighting up the room with the screen's light. The boy's heart almost jumped out of his chest as he reached for his phone lying on the bedside table.

"Blake?"

"I read your text." Blake's voice said from the other side of the line. "I wasn't going to answer, but I guess today is your lucky day."

Don't be like that! Shawn heard a female voice in the background. His face transmitted disappointment when he realized it wasn't Signe's voice. Why would be her? She probably hates you now the caramel eyed boy scolded mentally to himself.

"So, what can I help you with?" He inquired. Shawn sighed in relief, his buddy was going to help him out, not totally, because he wasn't the one who created that whole mess, yet any kind of help was appreciated.

"I wrote a song-"

"Congratulations." Blake cut him off. He was still mad at him, not that Shawn expected them to be all friendly again, yet if he was going to act like that throughout the call he would certainly give up on getting his help. As for friendship, he would have to keep on trying to get it back.

"Gimme that!"

"Eva! What are you doing?" He heard them talk between the two, confused and patiently waiting for Blake to explain to him what was going on there. 

"Hi Shawn, it's Eva here."

Well, that was new.