Stampy and Sqaishey Love Story 5

Chapter 44

Two weeks had passed and Rachel was starting her first therapy session. We'd paid, meaning we wouldn't have to wait too long for her to get in since we didn't want her illness getting worse. I was sat with her in the waiting room, just waiting for somebody to call her name.

"Are you sure you're going in on your own?" I asked, turning to face her. She'd tied her hair up in a messy bun and was wearing no makeup, as if she was anticipating crying perhaps. She always wore makeup, at least a little mascara.

"I'm fine, mum. It'll be easier to talk to them freely" She smiled "It's chill"

I chuckled and nodded, sitting back in my seat and allowing her to put her earphones back in. She'd found some new band and was obsessed, I think they made her feel a little happier though, which was good. Finally, Rachel got called in and I smiled at her, watching her go.

And now to sit on my own for forty minutes...

I used up that forty minutes looking around the room. It was plain and white, with a little pinboard set up covered in posters about mental health awareness. A TV sat on the other wall, only playing mental health ads. The TV was pretty pointless, if you ask me. I didn't see the point in it just playing ads that nobody was even watching. Everybody in the room was busy on their phones, or a couple of other parents had been clever enough to bring a book to read while their child was discussing their issues.

There were a range of different sorts of people in the waiting room. A girl with red hair with her father, she was busy on her phone with headphones on. A boy with his mother, he had his head on her shoulder as they shared earphones. Younger looking twins with both their mum and dad, maybe family counselling?

It was strange, sitting in this waiting room and knowing that all these people were also in the same sorts of situation; going through tough times. They could be suffering with eating disorders, depression or any form of mental health problem. Or maybe family issues, like divorce. Maybe abuse? You could see all these people in the supermarket and would never guess that anything was going on with them.

I guess that's the truth of it though. You never really know what somebody's going through. Even the closest people to you might not really know.

~

Rachel finally came out with red eyes, but a smile on her face. We got in the car before she began telling me all about how her session had gone. Her therapy was called Dr. Piper, but would prefer to be called by her first name "Lisa". She listened to all of Rachel's issues, giving advice where needed,

"She sounds really nice!" 

"She is! She said she'd like to book a family session, so she can get to know everybody at some point but it's okay if anyone would rather not. She's booked in my next session to be the same time next week, and she'll call about doing a family one" my daughter explained, nodding along to the All Time Low song playing on the AUX.

"That'd be cool. I'll talk to everyone and we'll sort something out" 

She turned the radio up a little, indicating the end of the conversation, probably so she could listen to her favourite band in peace I assume. 

The drive home was filled with All Time Low, shouting lyrics and bopping our heads to their songs. It was just nice to see my daughter happy again, and spending time with me without snapping. It was like I finally had the real Rachel back, not some weird posessed version of her.

We pulled up in our driveway and it was as though Rae and I had been thinking the same thing;

"I've missed you. Like, we've seen eachother but I've missed being normal with you" 

"I've miss you too" I leant over to hug her, smiling.

"I promise I'll try my best to get better quickly"

"I know. It's okay" I responded, trying to sound understanding "I know it won't be easy, and you won't get better just like that"

"How do you understand all of this so easy?" She laughed.

"I burnt my way through it, you will too"

"What do you mean?" Rachel's face was full of confusion, and slight sympathy as if she was trying to work out what I was talking about.

I smiled. A smile she knew all too well. I'll tell you soon, it read. Respectfully, she nodded and we headed inside.

It wasn't that she wasn't ready, it's that I wasn't ready to tell my daughter that once upon a time I felt so depressed to the point I didn't want to leave my bed, or shower.

I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me that things would be okay, and that one day I'd have a husband and kids, and the most amazing group of friends. Maybe then I would've had some sort of hope, although I never really believed in all the positive stuff. I just thought it was people who already had good lives attempting to make everyone better just like that, or something dumb. But then I met Stampy and the group and everything changed just like that.

And thinking about it now, give or take a year or so, my life had been pretty damn good and I was very lucky to be living the way I was now. And maybe my family wasn't perfect, but to me it was almost perfect and I loved it that way. 

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A/N! Long time no see... again! I'm sorry :/ I'm not really interested in fanfiction anymore, I want to write my own things with my own characters I guess. I will be finishing this book within the next couple chapters, and then I shall be moving onwards. I hope you guys follow me forwards and support my choices (: Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me and reading my books!