13 Reasons Why

Chapter 2

(Katie) *ONE WEEK LATER* I scroll through Instagram and it's filled with "ONE WEEK WITHOUT YOU ANNIE" and "STOP SUICIDE NOW" posts. I turn off my phone quickly before I puke. I still can't believe she's gone. There's a knock on my bedroom door, but I don't bother replying. "Katie," my mom walks in and turns on the lights, "how about we get up today? It's been a while." I don't answer, but close my eyes so they can adjust to the change of light. The last time I got out of bed was to use the bathroom or get food. Other than that just the funeral. Without Annie, what's the point? Is there even one? Gym's been canceled for the next two weeks in order to give us time to grieve. "Tomorrow's a very special day." My mom whispers, coming to my bedside and stroking my head. "Why?" I say evenly. "Oh, don't tell me you've forgot. It's your thirteenth birthday, Katie." Actually I don't forget. I'm just not celebrating it. "Any idea what you'd like to do?" My mom tries again. Sometimes I wish she just would stop trying. Stop being nice. Maybe just leave me alone... maybe even let me die. I think she knows I'm having suicidal thoughts, but if it were an option for Annie, that makes it an option for me, right? "Nothing." I don't look at her, "Not without Annie." My mom sighs. "Sweetheart, I know you two were close, but you need to move on." I turn to face my mom. "Close?" I snap at her, "Move on?" She seems to regret her words as soon as her lips parted. "How do you think Annie felt when Caleb passed away?" I close my eyes again so the tears stay inside. "This is different!" I yell at her. "I don't see how." My mom's voice is quiet. "Because Caleb didn't have a choice. Annie did! She chose to die! And maybe I could have helped her. But I'm so self centered I didn't even realize all the pain she was going through! It's so different!" I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks. "This isn't your fault, Katie." My mom soothes me. "Whatever. Can you leave?" I whine through the tears. My mom hesitates before standing up and crossing my room to the door. I throw my hands over my face and try to relax. It just feels like there's this huge hole in my chest. Is that Annie?