13 Reasons Why

Chapter 10

(Katie) "Katie?" Mia's voice quivers. I turn around and face her. "I want to die." She bows her head as she manages to tell me this. I suck in my breath. "Honestly, Mia? Me too." She wipes her eyes. "But... I'm too scared to do it, you know?" Is it possible Mia is going through the same thing as me? Back to math, this time fractions. Annie was the common denominator. When you change or completely obliterate the common denominator, the numerators are forced to fall. We fell parallel I guess. Mia and I both want to cease to exist. Just like our common denominator. We're the numerators. If only Annie knew she'd have all this influence on so many people. Maybe... maybe she knew. Maybe that's one of her reasons? "I just want to stop feeling and things. And what if the only way to stop feeling bad is to stop feeling anything at all?" Mia croaks. I feel the tears come again. "Why didn't she ask for help?" I whisper through ten tears. Mia starts to sob harder. "Katie... she did. She did, okay?! And I ignored her! You did too!" I snap my head towards Mia. She couldn't have possible just said that. I mean... maybe I wasn't as observant as I should have been... and maybe I could have payed closer attention to Annie. But she never asked me straight up. "What?" Is all I can manage. Part of me knows Mia is right, Annie probably did cry out for help, undeniably indirectly. "Listen to your tape, Katie! It changes everything, I swear." "I'm not sure how much more things can change. I already want to die," I explain in a quiet tone... just in case my mom can hear me. "Katie I'm not kidding... I'm going to do it. I'm not going to be afraid." It takes a moment for me to recognize what she's saying. "Mia..." I can't let this happen. "What's one more stupid human off this earth?! Annie's gone. As hard as it was, life went on. If I die, life will go on too." I want to tell her it's not worth it. That she matters. But for some reason I feel mute. I can't speak. My mouth is drier than Annie's parched skin I saw at her funeral. I shudder at the thought. Don't remember her for the bad, I force myself to think. Just don't. Mia shakes her head, "I'll do it, I swear.