13 Reasons Why

Chapter 22

TAPE FIVE PT. 4
- Hayden -
"The next morning, after hearing the news, I had planned to see you. Due to my flight we had a whole ten minutes together. The second I saw you, I sprinted up to you, wrapping my arms around you. That's all I wanted. I was for you to hug me forever. You held me for a minute, then whispered: "Annie, what's wrong?" I pulled away and wiped some fresh tears. "I'm leaving L.A. today." Your face slowly drained its color, and I watched it with my heart aching. This was one of the hardest things I've ever done. "I thought... wait, I thought we had six weeks minimum." Your words were shaky, and I could hear the devastation decorating your lips. "So did I. But, no. We're going back to Maryland. I- I don't know when we're coming back. Or if." I laced my fingers in with yours. "I'm so, so sorry, Hay." Your eyes got wide. I saw it. The tears began to well up. "Anns, are you serious?" Your voice wasn't its normal melody, tuned in a major key. It was a minor harmony, sad and low. I felt my heart tingle when you called me Anns, as nobody ever called me that but you. "Hayden, I wish." I managed, before tears came too hard. You pulled me in, holding me close again. God, that was the best feeling in the world. "I guess we're going to have to be a long distance couple." I mumbled into your ear. Little did I know (pun intended), that this moment would be the number one driving force to my suicide. You pulled away, harsh and quick. Taken aback, I glanced up at you. What was happening. "Long distance relationships is what couples do that don't love each other anymore." You snapped. "What? Long distance relationships are what people who love each other do when they have to be apart. Hayden, I love you." Your eyes no longer could hold your tears, they spilled down your cheeks. Everything was wrong from that moment. I made you cry. Unintentionally, but you were crying over me. "Annie, I do love you. But I can't do a long distance relationship." Your words stung. My stomach dropped. I couldn't catch my breath. "What are you saying...?" I managed. My breaths staggered and my words short. "I'm breaking up with you." I stood there. Frozen. No. This can't be happening. "Annie, I'm so sorry." No, you weren't. Lies. You never loved me to begin with, probably just dated me out of pity or something. Then, when I was leaving, it didn't even affect you. You let me go, ready to move on to the next. Nice Hayden, real nice. This is the truth, I'm pretty sure I know when I've been played. But at that moment everything was crumbling to pieces. "I actually loved you!" I spat in your direction. You were sobbing at this point, right here in the mall courtyard. My phone rang. Call from mom. My ten minutes were up. "Annie, I love you, but you'll go home, move on to somebody new. And I'll be heartbroken. It's better this end now, don't you think?" I was not falling for your lies again. "You know what I think?" I shouted. "I think you're a jerk." I didn't wait for your response. I ran. Like I had dashed towards you only minute ago, I dashed away just like that. Hannie was over. Hayden liking Annie was over. Above all, Annie's life was soon to be over. I just wanted everything to end. Everything. Thanks for being the biggest reason of them all, Hayden. Thanks a whole lot."