13 Reasons Why

Chapter 8

(Katie) I close the tape box and shove it under my bed. I can't listen to these right now, I need to take a break. As I go to lay down on my bed, there's a knock on the door. I don't say anything. I don't want anybody to come in. Whoever it is knocks louder this time. "Katie? You have a visitor." My mom's voice is muffled but still clear from the other side of the door. I don't know who's visiting me, but I don't want to know either. If I could just tell them that what I really want is to be left alone. Well, I really want my best friend back. But nothing can do that. Nothing. Once you cross the barrier, there's no going back. Annie took a one-way ticket to death. Key words: one way. "Katie?" My mom's voice sounds concerned and she giggles my locked doorknob. I don't answer. "Katie is everything okay?!" My mom's yelling now, and pounding on the door. What does she think? She thinks I probably killed myself. I'm not sure if I'm going to do that yet, but a sickening part of me finds satisfaction in her thinking I could have. I'm not sure why exactly my lips crack a grin at her pleas to open the door, but I'm not sure if a lot of things anymore. Annie caused this cascading domino affect on me. When she died, first my happiness went, then my trust, followed by my sanity. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I can will myself not to cry five times a day. "Katie! Open the door!" My mom's voice cracks with worry. I resign into telling her I'm fine. "Who's the visitor?" I muster, hoping it was loud enough for her to hear. She sighs with relief. "It's Mia." I consider letting her in. But Mia has a tape... but so do I. I force my legs to stand up and cross the dark room to the door. I unlock it and open it just a crack, so my mom can see my face. "Next time, open the door when I tell you." She tries to have a stern voice, but she must see the tears in my eyes, for she quickly frowns and seems to regret her words. "Katie?" I hear Mia from behind my mom. She steps around her and stands in front of me, wrapping her arms around me. The hug feels awkward... uncomfortable, but I half-heartedly pat her on the back. "We need to talk." I whisper in her ear before she pulls away.