13 Reasons Why

Chapter 5

(Katie) I stop Kenzie's tape when Annie finishes and yank off my earbuds. Kenzie was awful towards Annie, even though Hayden obviously liked Annie more. I want to fly to LA just to personally smack Mackenzie Ziegler in her stupid face. I wipe my eyes... maybe I'm overreacting. But the next tape is calling my name. I stand up from my bed and grab the shoebox. I dart my eyes towards the tapes as I flip the lid, trying to avoid having to see Annie's perfect handwriting that was so unmistakably hers. I know if I see it I'll cry. I'm getting the second tape when there's a knock at my door. "Katie?" My mom's voice spills the room as light from the hallway hits my back. "Mom!" I shout, dropping the tapes and kicking them under my bed. My mom can't find out about these. "Privacy, please?!" I shriek at her startled face. "I knocked," she tells me, as if that changes everything. "And? That wasn't even good you can in right after!" She shrugs, "Well I'm sorry, Katie. I'll work on my knocking skills." I know she's kidding but I still glare at her and plop down on my bed. I'm not in a joking mood. "Your dad said you were asking for a tape player?" I shrug. "Just wanted to know if he had one." She eyes me suspiciously. "Katie, if you want to do something drastic, please tell me." I close my eyes. "Like what?" "Well..." her voice trails off, but I know what she's referring to. "You mean like kill myself?" "That would most definitely count as drastic," her tone alarmed, "but you're not going to do that. Right?" I let her words seep into me for a minute. "Right," I say... which may be a lie, I'm not sure yet. "Do you want to talk about anything?" She asks. I shake my head, "I want to be left alone." My Mom sighs and squeezes my hand before leaving the room. I do feel a little bit bad, because I can tell she's worried about me. But maybe someone should have been a little more worried about Annie. Maybe that someone should have been me. I try to remember the last thing I said to her. I strain my brain for a week and a day ago. Annie leaving gym, and she hasn't been herself that day... oh my god. Or that week. She gave me so many signs, left me clues that I can't find.