13 Reasons Why

Chapter 23

(Katie) Mia presses "STOP" on the tape player, and looks up at me. Tears blur my vision, but I can still see that look in her eyes. That look where you're thinking about the exact moment where everything went so horribly wrong. Of course, we have thirteen moments right here. But still, when did it start. What made these people hurt Annie? Could it have been prevented? I've had that look in my eyes every time I've look in the mirror since when my mom dragged me out into the gym parking lot and I demanded her to tell me the unimaginable. That look is what keeps me looking back in the mirror. I keep hoping it might disappear, because then I think I'll have everything figured out. But that look spread to Mia too. "She never told me about Hayden. Well, I mean she never told me about this." Mia says, but her voice is hoarse. I nod, "yeah. I never knew this." With every tape I hear, it seems less and less like I was Annie's best friend. She really could have used one, but I wasn't it. "I need to listen to all these tapes. Before we..." my voice trails off, she knows what I mean. Mia nods. "Whose next?" I ask her, readjusting my position on her bed. "Jayden." Even her name is like a stab to the heart. The person who I thought was steeling my best friend. Maybe this tape with prove it wrong though. "Katie..." Mia whispers, "maybe Hayden was telling the truth. Maybe he did like Annie." I feel my wrists ball up in fists. I will myself to unclench them. "Are you saying Annie's a liar?" I snap. Mia shakes her head furiously, "No. maybe just... she misinterpreted something?" I don't even consider this. "Annie wouldn't have killed herself over a freaking misinterpretation, Mia. Open your eyes! We sucked as best friends to her, she had nobody. She was driven to kill herself by us. We are the ones who misinterpreted Annie! Did you know she was hurting? Because I didn't!" I'm practically shouting now. Mia seems to shrink inside herself a little. "No, I didn't see. I know, okay. I know I'm partially to blame. A lot to blame. Can we just listen to the tapes?" Her quiet words fill my ears. Calm down, I remind myself. "Yeah. Let's just listen to the tapes."