13 Reasons Why

Chapter 7

(Katie) I take of the headset, aimlessly throwing it across the room. I forcefully slap the STOP button on Arden's tape. Never did I know they're could be such a difference between thinking you know all of somebody's secrets, and actually knowing it. Annie told me everything! Well, I guess, in hind sight, she actually told me nothing. She never asked me about playlist, she never told me Arden was bullying her, or Kenzie for that matter. And if I have a tape... then what did I do? I never talked about her at playlist, neither did Mia, but I do remember Arden always having a subtle mean comment about Annie with everything she did. Why didn't I tell her to back off? Tell her to quit saying things about Annie? Why didn't I stick up for my best friend? Millions of questions swarm my brain, so much they start leaking from my eyes. Tears consume my vision as I curl up into a ball on my bed. Is this what Annie did, cry herself to sleep? Probably. And I didn't even know because I'm selfish. I'm selfish and Annie was screaming for help, but I didn't bother listening. She was drowning and begging me to save her, anybody to save her for that matter, and I just swam to shore. She distanced herself and I didn't walk those miles to her, but let her sit in the distance. Annie was worth those miles, and I should have ran to her. But I'm selfish and I didn't realize that she was that far away... until she was beyond the point of reaching. Her cries were quiet, yes, but she was crying to the trained ear. My ears, her parents ears, Hay's ears. The ears that were in tune with her cries. The ones who knew her best... and still, we didn't hear. Not one of us. And maybe all she needed was one of us. But I didn't give her that. And I just want her to be here, now, with me. Annie was my other half, my best friend, and the reason I've shed so many tears in a week. I think I've cried more this past week than I have in my entire life. But that was before Annie was subtracted from the equation. When you're missing a variable, your solution always changes. This was not a good change. Not even close. We lost Caleb because it was his time, but we lost Annie through her choices.