13 Reasons Why

Chapter 19

TAPE FIVE PT. 1
- HAYDEN -
"Everybody was waiting on the edge of their seats for this, weren't they? Well... here you go. I'm about to explain my next reason, and it is all about a certain somebody. And... the worst part of this entire situation. I fell hard for my next reason. Hayden the-boy-who-never-loved-me-back Summerall. Yep, that's his name. I'll abbreviate for the sake of time. So, abbreviated Hayden, welcome to your tape. Actually, this is only the first part of your tape. The damage you inflicted was comparable to a ferocious beast. And a single tape comparable to a mouse's cage. Obviously, the cage constructed with mice in mind wouldn't be able to hold a gigantic beast. So one tape can't hold all of the Hayden-induced pain. I'm actually still in love with you as I record this. I think I'll still be in love with you when I commit suicide. I think I'll always love you. Oh wait, I forgot to start out this tape with my special announcement, so here I go: "I fell in love with Hayden Summerall." Again, his name was abbreviated for the sake of time. So yeah. I have this humungo-big crush on Hayden. My first ever love. Ha, love. Just like grief, it's a world inside a word. And it has ups and downs and all arounds. But here's the thing about love. It's like a spell, and it makes you mad about one single person. And Hayden, you were that one person. When you'd smile at me, I swear I wanted to just break down in tears of joy. Insane, right? That's a side affect of falling in love. It was so unfathomable to me that I could be so genuinely happy over a smile. And how was it you were smiling at me? I wasn't sure how I got so insanely lucky, but I was glad beyond measure that I did. I still can't forget that first night in the fountains. I was so drawn to you. The way your eyes danced with mine in the darkness. Like two shooting stars on the same path to the night sky. It seemed as if it was almost as if they were meant to be. If I could pinpoint the first time I realized I liked you, it would be that moment you picked me up, wrapping your strong arms around me. Your warm body pressed against mine, you lips grazing my ear completely on accident as you carried me.