13 Reasons Why

Chapter 21

TAPE 5 PT. 3
- Hayden -
"Actually... Kenzie and I broke up." You said, and your eyes looked directly into mine as you said "broke up". My gear's started turning, what could those eyes mean? And I felt a twinge of happiness at the news of the breakup. "Aw, Hay, I'm so sorry," I said, because that's what best friends do. "Do you need me to beat her up?" I joked. Your eyes smiled, and you even laughed a little. I wanted to melt. "Hah, thanks An. But I actually broke up with her." My heart started to beat faster, and I couldn't believe my ears. He broke up with her. He broke up with her. Hayden broke up with Kenzie! "Why?" I tried to conceal my excitement, attempting to keep my voice even. "Annie," he whispers. I had been staring at my food the whole time, not being able to stand your beautiful face. I slowly raise my gaze, letting it return to your eyes. Yours... they were fixed on me. And that look. My god, you had me fooled that you loved me. "Annie, I broke up with kenz because I'm in love with somebody else." My heart froze... was I that somebody else? "Hayden," I dared to whisper, but I couldn't get out anything else but your name. Which by the way, is my favorite word. "Annie, that other person... is you. It's always been you, there hasn't been a day since April that it wasn't you. Ever since I met you, it's been you. I just pretended it wasn't, because I didn't have the courage to tell you. Annie, I'm in love with you. I'm so helplessly in love with you and I don't know what to do with myself. You're my everything, don't you see it? Everyone knows it. I can't be just friends any longer. I mean... I have no idea if you feel the same way, but I hope you do." I memorized every syllable of that speech. I wrote it down everywhere, I sang it in the shower, I lived those words. Truth be told, I still do. But you said this all to me the day before I had to leave L.A. So we had one day of relationship, but at the time I thought we had months. When I got back to the hotel room that night, my mom told me some horrible news. We were leaving L.A. A month and a half early. Tomorrow. I cried myself to sleep that night. It was the first step to the downfall of Hannie."