13 Reasons Why

Chapter 26

TAPE EIGHT
- Paige -
"The situation between you and me... I'd describe it as the biggest let down of my entire, short life. I wasted so much time on you, when you didn't deserve a second. I loved you to the moon and back, when you didn't deserve an inch. I told you all my secrets, when you didn't deserve the time of day. I gave you everything, when you deserved nothing. You had the most beautiful mask I'd ever seen. It was nearly impossible to see what was underneath. But then you took the costume off, and I realized your true colors. They weren't pretty. Paige, welcome to your tape. Ever since I met you, that day way back at a funeral, I absolutely adored you. I thought you were so pretty and kind and just fun to be around. I wanted to be just like you. And the day you moved in, it was like a wild dream coming true. You became my "sister", and I valued you beyond measure. You were like a best friend who lived with me. It was... amading. But why waste more breath on the good times, when they were all a cover-up for what was really going on. I'd seen so many things on social media about you "using" my family and me for fame. But I refused to believe it. I defended you, and it turns out you ended up being everything I was defending you against. You used me for fame. What kind of cousin does that? Fame before family...? Paige, you've got it so totally warped. I'll never forget the night it all the colors exposed themselves. It was three in the morning, and I couldn't sleep. I thought I heard your voice far off, so I obviously went to find you. You were sitting on the back deck, and I could tell you were on the phone with Curt, so I kept my distance. I barely opened the window, just so I could hear. Eavesdropping, I guess. But where would we be now if I hadn't? "I know, baby, I miss you too." You told your boyfriend. "Yes, I'll come live with you soon." My heart dropped. What? Go live with Curt? I was told that Curt didn't have room in his apartment, that's why you were living with me. I kept listening. "Yeah, but y'all don't understand. I doubt they'll find out about it." I strained my ears, trying to hear Curt's words. "Don't you feel bad?" "Using your cousins like that?" Using us. You were using us? "I guess. But, I'd prefer you call it 'collaborating'." I think back to what you said when you first moved in: "it's like a daily collaboration." How could we all be blind? "I promise I'll come home as soon as I hit a million, okay? ... love you too, talk to you tomorrow." As you hung up the phone, I couldn't help but hang my head as the tears ran down my cheeks. I busted out the door. "Annie?! You're up?" You looked startled. I didn't answer. "How could you?! I thought you were my sister!" I finally spat. Your eyes flashed, your mind racing, gears turning in attempt to cover it up. "Annie-" I stormed right back inside. I loved you more than anybody else, Paige. Loved, as in past tense. Not because I'm dead, I'm not yet... but because all the love is gone. You push the boundaries too far, you drained me away. You're not my sister. You're nothing. I wish I could have seen that sooner."