I loved him

* 31 *

I had taken it upon me to start with therapy. It was my day off and Mitchell was at school. Luckily there wasn't any trouble today.

I walked in and filled in some forms. I sat down in the waiting room waiting to be called. Dr. James. That's who he was or calls himself.

"Miss Cox. You are up next."
I smiled and stood up.

He had a very neat practice. Very soothing. It was relaxing.

"So...Miss Cox. I am Dr. James. I will be your psychologist."

I wondered how old this man was with such high qualifications. I shook the thought off.

"Hi. I'm Courtney Cox."
"As your forms state." he chuckled.
"Miss cox. Is it your first time seeing a therapist?"
"Yes...Uhm..."
"You can just call me James."
"Okay Uhm..James."
"What brings you here?"
"I'm trying to find healing."
"Mhm hm." he started taking notes.
"I'm a single mother with a 4 year old son. Soon will be 5...his father left me when I was about 2 months pregnant."
"Conflict?"
"Yes...and cheating."
"Ah huh..." he raised an eyebrow.
"I've been struggling to get over him for years, regardless of what he's done."
"Where is he at the moment?"
"Oh, he's married now."
"He met someone else?"
"No. The same woman he cheated on me with."
"How long ago was this."
"When we were in tertiary."

He raised his brow again with more concern.

"Don't judge me. I loved him a lot. I've known him for so long. It's difficult to process everything.

"Have you forgiven him?"

I became silent...my silence was because that wa probably my biggest stumbling block from getting over Samuel. Forgiveness.

The session continued for about another 45 minutes. It was amazing. I let everything out which I needed to.

At the end the end of the session I was all smiles.

"Thank you, Dr. James. See you on the next appointment."

Wow. It was refreshing. Now it was time to pick Mitchell up from school.

I had homework from Dr. James. I had to find ways to forgive Samuel for what he did to Mitchel and I.