I loved him

* 50 *

"Mom. I'm going out for a bit." I said.
"Not having supper?"
"No no. I need to sort something out."
"With James?"
I wanted to lie but it would backfire on me.
"Uh, no...The wedding planner."
"I thought I was--"
"Ma!."
"Uh..Uhm..okay.."
"See you later." I said.
"You kissed Mitch?" mom asked.
"Yeah. I told him I'd be back late."
"Alright."

I rushed to my car. Checked if my package was still where I left it. I wasn't going to see the wedding planner. I was going somewhere else. Don't I learn?

I arrived. I parked in his driveway and hopped off with the package.

I knocked on his door. He didn't answer for a while but soon I could hear him slowly walk to the door. When he opened the door, he looked like he had seen a ghost. He couldn't believe it.

"Courtney..."
"Sam..."

There was silence..

"May I?" I asked.
"Sure sure. Sorry to keep you waiting at the door."
"I brought you some stuff."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah." I walked into his kitchen and starting unpacking the snacks and card.
"Wow." he said, leaning on the wall.
"What?" I turned to look at him.
"You really did this?" he asked me.
"Yeah. Does it surprise you?"
"You've never ceased to amaze me." he said.
My eyes grew wide...

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm getting married, Sam." I broke the silence.
He looked shocked then shook his head and laughed "yeah right."
I looked down.
"So...Uhm.. Is Lizelle home?" I avoided the topic.
"No. She said she needed some space. Pretty much hasn't returned ever since."
I was in the kitchen preparing  fruit salad while listening to his story. I felt sorry for him because I knew the truth. Infact the whole time while he was talking, I had my face down in the fruits to avoid any form of confrontation.

"Hope you're hungry. Fruit Salad is ready. Let's go and sit." I said.
We went into the dining area where I dished up for him.
We took a bite off our plates.

"This is delicious, Courntey."
"Thanks."

There was silence when I figured it would be the best time to bring up the "why" question.

"Why, Samuel?"
His eyes grew round as he looked up because he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Why her? Why did you do it?" I continued.
I could tell he was nervous and ashamed. He was probably going to answer me but his phone rang.
"Excuse me. I have to take this."
"Alright." I shook my head.

"Hello? Yes? Aha? Speaking...wait a minute what? Are you serious? I am on my way right now!!!!!"

"Whoa! What's going on?" I chuckled.
"It's Lizelle." he panted.
"Really?"
"Baby!!!" he yelled.
"Baby?" I was stunned
"The baby is on the way." he checked the messages on his phone.
"I see White texted me to tell me but I didn't see this!! I have to get to the hospital. Please leave." he told me.
"Uhm...oh okay." I let out one chuckle.

On my way to the door he asked me to wait.
"Courtney, I can't really drive."
"Sure, I will take you." I offered.

We went to my car and rushed off to the hospital. The whole way I had to listen to "are we there yet? Skip that traffic light."
Nothing different from when we were dating.

We arrived at the hospital and he fled out of my car with his crutches. He hopped his way to the maternity ward and I slowly followed him. I walked passed White, who was in the waiting area. I walked to the nursery and peeked outside the window.

Wow. It was indeed a happy family. Somehow I found myself wishing he could have done the same for me. I watched them fuss over their new baby girl. Tears in my eyes were about to fall when White came to me.

"Hey...I know how you feel." he said.
White definitely knows how I feel because that's actually his baby mama and daughter, not Samuel's.
"You will be okay." I told him.
"Thanks...but you need that piece of advice even more than I do."

And just like that; Samuel forgot about me. I watched him in the nursery with the woman he left me for when I fell pregnant. I took a deep breath and walked away. I was going to my future husband. The man who actually sees my worth and values me. He was waiting for me at home.

I arrived at James'. I walked in to find him on the couch, asleep.
I snuggled beside him. He could feel my pain.

"You went to him?" James asked.
I nodded painfully.
"Come here, baby. I love you." he said.
He held me tight and we fell asleep on the couch with my tears falling on his shirt.