Illusion {l.t}

{xxxi}

"I love you Christina"
I was the one who wouldn't react now, i didn't know what to say.
He loves me? How dare he say he loves me after what he did to me? How dare he say he loves me when he used me in our entire relationship? How dare he say that when he bet on me?
But i love him... I love him for fucks sake. And i need him, more than he needs me. Not in the pleasuring way of needing someone, i need him to fill that hole he buried in my heart, i need him to complete me. I need him as a whole.
"I love you, love me" he begged
"Louis i.." I trailed off..
He held my hands, raising his right hand to my face, he traced my bottom lip with his thumb, then caressed my cheek, his red puffy blue eyes staring at my green ones. A tear skipped his eyes, pulling me in a hug, his face in the crook of my neck, he took a deep breath, his hands wrapped around me, stroking with my hair, he then stopped, his grip tightening around me, he hugged me tight.
"I just miss you so much" he mumbled, i barely made out the words he way saying.
A sob escaped my lips, i couldn't bare all the words he was telling me.
"I need to go" i tried to get out of his grip, but he wouldn't let me go.
"Please, Chrissy i" i shook my head another sob escaping my lips, i tried to hold my tears in but they fell down my cheeks against my will.
Louis started screaming, he started trashing, he started pulling his hair again.
He held me and started rocking back and forth.
Whats going on with him?
He kept mumbling things to himself, words i couldn't make out.
I put my hands on his shoulder, trying to stop him.
his mumbles got louder by the second, his rocking got faster, he started pulling his skin.
"Stop, please Louis, you're scaring me" a sob escaped my lips.
Not scared in the way that Louis is going to hurt or lay a hand on me or any in that case, i was scared, i feared that louis would hurt himself.
His eyes softened, staring back at me. "Did i hurt you?" His voice was sweet.
A lump formed in my throat as i shook my head no.
"Christina, i love you, please...stay" he stuttered.
I slowly nodded, "i love you too, Louis" i forced a smile. I did love him, yet i didn't want to be near him. But i feel bad for him, and he needs me, so i really cannot say no.
He kissed my forehead "can we got back to how we were?" He asked, his voice and eyes full of hope.
"I just, its not that simple lou" i chocked on my own words. Feeling bad for him, i made it worse.
"I understand" he looked down.
"Just know that, i really am sorry" he continued.
I nodded and stood up. His head snapped at me and looked at me. "Where are you going?" He asks

*louis' pov*
Just when i ask her that, those voices sound lime demons started talking.
"She's leaving you"
"You don't deserve her"
"She's going to go and find another guy that deserves her love"
"You bastard"
"She doesn't want you, no one wants you"
"She hates you"
.....
I tried ignoring them and pushing them out of my brain but they kept coming back.
"Stay for the day" i said in a barely audible voice.
"I don't know, louis"
"Please?" I needed her to stay.
After a minute of silence. She opened her mouth, "Okay" she mumbled. "Ill be right back" she said and walked out of the room

*christina's pov*
As i walked out of the room, i saw Stan in the hall. I walked over to him. "Thank you so much for coming" he said throwing his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
"He really does need you" he mumbled.
I didn't say anything, i just stood there while Stan hugged me.
"You know, he's not himself lately" he said pulling away from the hug, his hands now rest on my shoulders.
"I kind of noticed" i mumbled
"He told me there are voices in his brain, telling him to kill himself. He's not the same. He tried.." Stan said
"He tried what?" I asked now worry flowing in my system
"Killing himself..." Stan looked away, before i could ask him when, he continued "at your door, in between the 100 days he was in front of your house"
A huge lump formed in my throat as i stood there shocked, hurt, i didn't know what to do. Millions of feels rushed through my body as tears rolled down my eyes. I ran back to the room louis was.

(Hi guys! Sorry i didn't update yesterday evening, i was upset and crying for 4 hours straight. I would update at night like always but i couldn't, yet I'm really sorry for that.
I hope you liked the chapter. Please vote comment and stuff. Thank you, it means a lot. Xx
Have a lovely day, x.)