Illusion {l.t}

{xxxxi}

Im thinking of ending this book.. Read a/n at the end. Its important.

Anyways heres the chapter.

Songs for this chapter

Wherever you are - 5 seconds of summer

Heartache on the big screen - 5sos

Turn your face - little mix

Louis' pov

Its been 58 days, i couldn't bare it anymore, i love her, so much, these past weeks i can't stop thinking about her, i can't stop wondering what she's doing at that moment.

I hold my phone in my hands, her number on the screen, the green button to call begging me to click it, but i can't do it, i just can't, i want to tell her i love her, i need her to know it'll always be her, she will always be the only one in my heart but i don't have the guts to do it.

A hot tear rolled down my cheek, fuck I'm crying again. Be a man., suck it up dude, she's just a girl. Fuck she's not just a girl.

I lock my phone once again, just like every other night without calling her.. And cry. How can i move on when I'm still in love with her, when i still think about her every night, ever morning. I wake up with her on my mind, i sleep with her in my mind, i eat with her in my mind. I can't do anything without thinking about her.

I'm messed up, and i messed up big time. If i were her, i'd break up with me as well.

The tears are coming again, oh man, my heart started hurting again. Fuck, i never knew i would stay in bed all day, cry like a wimp because of a girl. But i fuckin loved her with all of me.

It's like we're stuck in this scene and it doesn't seem to get better unless i try.

Christina's pov

It's been 58 days, and i cant take this anymore, i miss him like hell, i need him so much, i need him next to me, i need him to comfort me. My depression is getting worse, the pills aren't even helping me anymore.

I'm growing upsetter and depressed each day, it's hurting my heart even more. I need him. He was the reason i woke up everyday to face this fucked up world, he was the reason i breath, the reason i was alive.

The doorbell knocked, getting me out of my thoughts

It knocked again, groaning i slowly got out of my comfortable warm bed, walking downstairs, i walked over to the door. It must be Rose. Why didn't she get inside on her own. She has the keys. Ugh

Opening the door i talked "rose, couldn't you come in? You do have.." I froze as i realised its not Rose.

"Hi.." He looked up at me, biting his lip

His beautiful high pitched voice still music to my ears

"Hi.." I replied shyly looking away.

He was wearing tux, his hair was now longer and had a bandana over it keeping it from getting in his eyes. His eyes, red puffy, was he crying? He held white and red tulips, my favourite..

"I miss you, so much, Chrissy, i love you so much, give me another chance. Let's start over. I know i want a lot but i can't live without you" he plead

I shut my eyes, and what i did next surprised both me and him. I hug him tight, not letting him breath. My arms wrapped around him, his arms snaked to my waist, then one of his hands went to my hair, pulling my head closer to him. He hid his face in the crook of my neck.

"I miss you so much" i cried. We both let go of the hug, he pressed our foreheads against each other. His arms around my head, caressing my cheek, his eyes full of love. He turned his face coughing lightly, he took a step back.

"Um i got you flowers" he gave me the tulips

"You remembered?" I chuckled lightly looking down at them. "How could i forget our first date?" He smiled, but not a genuine smile, he was hurt, and it was so noticeable, his eyes were full of it, his smile gave it away.

He handed me the tulips, and started fiddling with his fingers. I looked down at the flowers, a small smile crept on my face.

Should i kiss his cheek and then go put them in a vase? or just go put them in a vase?

I quickly kissed his cheek, softly and weakly and ran to the kitchen, wishing he didn't feel the kiss. Oh who am i kidding, of coarse he felt it.

I walked back after putting the flowers in the vase.

"Um, do you wanna..uh.. come inside?" I asked nervously.

He shook his head looking down, "i should probably um..go" he said

"Oh..uh yeah" i frowned

"Have a nice day.. have you been um taking your pills?" He asked

I nodded "two pills a day.." He said in a barely audible voice, yet i nodded again.

"Well, i am uh gonna.." He pointed at his car, he took steps back, he shot me a hurtful smile and turned around.

"Louis?" My mouth spoke before my mind could even think

He turned around, his eyes filling with tears.

"Stay?.. Please.." I begged

He nodded walking back towards me

I hugged him, "do you forgive me?" He asked

"I do, i always do" i cried, holding him in my arms

"I love you" i said my voice breaking.

"Trust me, i love you more" i pushed my lips over his, my tears flowing like a waterfall

"Stay with me?" I asked

"Forever"

"Don't hurt me again, i can't bare it" i cried

"Never again"

( Hi guys! I was gonna update earlier but my chapter got deleted so i had to rewrite it again. I swear wattpad hates me! Twice in a row. I swear ugh. I was gonna publish it but i noticed its empty can wattpad just be good with me?! Ugh i hate this i spend 3 hours writing it and it was all gone in a flash.

please vote, comment. It does mean a lot.

So about the a/n at the beginning of the chapter! Should i complete this book? I Mean 41 chapters, i think it's a lot and i should end it soon like at chapter 50 or something! What do you guys think?)