Drawings from my Dear Sister

I Have No Idea What To Do?

I don't want to draw or write because of my current mood which may be because of the crappy weather today as well as the fact I may becoming down with something since my body is just aching for no good reason. It feels as if everyone is depressed or sick or something I don't know it just feels like everyone is absent but that brings me to my next point, I feel as if I have little to no contact with my readers or that we haven't bonded at all because I think I can say I only really have like 3 or 4 friends I can really talk to and well it's not like their always on and willing to talk so I'm left in this uncomfortable loneliness and I also find nowadays whenever I talk to someone I get nervous or awkward which can be seen as shooting myself in foot this of course leads to further depression.

I have problems that much is obvious most stemming from my wife's death and honestly I haven't been the same since then and honestly you guys would never know the difference considering none of you known me for that long.

I have lost a lot after that, I lost any faith in myself and any control over my emotions leading to a lack of stability which has lead me to crying a lot sadly not when appropriate like my friends death which has lead me to question just what's wrong with me considering I couldn't cry for my closest friend and then comes the loss of identity which has me stumbling around like a child in the dark

(The fact I know what's wrong with me messes with me more because you think I could help myself recover but no!)

I feel even worst knowing I've probably vented about all this before but honestly doubt I'll get over any of this it was too hard of a loss for me.

Anyway that's not the point of this chapter the point was to make actual friends but even this may be a shot in the dark but there's always hope I suppose...

20 chapters left...This makes me sad as well...I feel like I will lose some of you...

Laughing and crying shouldn't be a thing but when you feel so bloody hopeless and accept it, you can't help but laugh at your own tragedy.

Someone fix me dammit!!!