Drawings from my Dear Sister

The Lone Banner Heart (Vent)

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest smile the brightest. The most damaged are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."
-Anonymous

Found this beautiful quote not too long ago and it's got me questioning just how messed up I really am as a person considering it's just to accurate to how I carry myself

I also found this song which had me crying on my walk home from work today luckily it was raining so I didn't need to explain my tears.

(Please listen to it explains why I'm feeling the way I am)

Their is a lot reasons why I'm feeling so melancholy as of late besides accepting more sad parts of my life, my best friends killer finally got sentenced yesterday, but honestly his sentence was unjust seeing how he hit him with his car and left him to die on the side of the road even his mother was made aware of it that night and she did nothing, the bastard got away with murder with 18 months probation and 200 hours community service. Would you believe I had a harsher sentence for missing a lot of school due to my IBS? I wish so much I could beat this assholes face in, but I know I would never get away with it and it will do me little good still you can obviously understand my outrage at this shit, it's been 2 years now but the pain is coming back full force as I'm forced to relive his death.

My wife of course always comes to mind and I'm constantly forced to relive her death too even though I got the closure needed to accept her death the pain doesn't fade, I live in hopes to better myself to be worthy of her hand as she was clearly steps ahead of me in every field and was honest to good for me this was my reason for living for a long time and honestly it still might be, I have had lots of emotional problems after he death all stemming to self worth to the deepest quandaries of the soul usually I was able to discern between things with absolute certainty but ever since she died emotions threw a wrench in the gears and I've been left confused and alone.

Here's her favorite song the one I used to sing to her every night as she cuddled into my chest as she slowly got sicker and sicker until she eventually passed in my arms.

The lyrics are comforting to say the least especially since it seems to almost relate to me during this tragedy.

Here's one last song that touched me dearly considering the subject of it and the game it was included in seeing how I could relate to it a lot with my lost love.

With that I suppose ends my vent but before I go

I love you!

Everyone who reads this I love you and thank you for caring for me enough to read it

Of course their are those of us on here I know on a deep level and I would like to reiterate that "I love you!"

I will watch over you all even in my own depression because as it says:

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest smile the brightest. The most damaged are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."