Drawings from my Dear Sister

I'm a Failure...

Let's face it all the goals I set for myself end in critical disappointment honestly what am I doing to keep you guys around?! I try and try but I keep failing and just falling into a circle of self loathing and illness that I can't seem to escape, I've lost almost all ambition and just keep putting myself down as many times as people try and tell me I'm a good Artist I don't believe it, I don't believe in myself. What am I to do? Where do I go from here? I'm perpetually lonely no matter what I do and whoever I talk to. All I want to feel is loved I'm a desperate bastard that just longs for love but I don't think I feel anything anymore whatever you say to me will likely have no effect.

What's wrong with me? I'm literally crying in bed left confused to why I am, I think I'm losing it I have these times of complete control over myself and then I lose it completely seriously I think I may have split personalities or something I just change completely sometimes (I could be overreacting but I don't know anymore)

I just want to laugh and cry seriously I haven't felt like this in months since a particular conversation with Toony where I started questioning my entire life and if I am just a terrible person ruining lives in my own confused mental state.

I'm just going to stop here I'm starting to just ramble and go in circles it's bad enough that I'm continuing to write this considering I can't even think straight.

Also just to yell at myself one last time "You worthless piece of shit! You couldn't even give them vent art! Are you just that lazy you fat piece of shit!" (Yes this bothers me...)

If you read this far honestly I don't deserve you...