Too Little Too Late

Chapter 15

Black?? I got lost in Black's eyes!! Oh Merlin. What has gotten into me today? It's been hours, now it's the end of the day and I still haven't forgiven myself. Merlin, he was so cocky afterwards. How could I let myself get lost in his (oh so lovely) eyes. It's not my fault they are dreamy and seemed to float and made me forget about everything else around me and- ok Layla. Stop it now.

Oh I am going crazy. Maybe I should be sent to St Mungo's. It's for the best!! Goodbye hogwarts. Goodbye my friends. I love you all. Except Black. I most defiantly do NOT love him. Damn Black, he even appears in my thoughts when I'm thinking about being shipped off to St Mungo's.

"Layla.... What's with the weird facial expressions?" Came Alice's quiet voice. Oh shiz, I was thinking while making weird faces. And everyone saw.

I quickly hurried my face in a pillow and screamed.

"Layla, you ok?" Asked Marlene.

"No. I'm going crazy." I replied, though I'm not sure they heard me through the pillow.

It apparently took them a few seconds to make out what I had said when lily replied "oh Layla, you where already crazy!"

Alice put in, "where did the sudden realisation come from?"

Marlene added, "what where you thinking about?"

"No no no no no. I can't tell you. You will ship me off to St Mungo's!!" I was now getting hysterical now. "I need to go." I quickly ran up the girls stairs and began to pace the room. Oh right. I need to calm down emotionally. Guitars. I grabbed my guitar and ran down the stairs and out of the common room, not making eye contact with anyone. They know by now that I only write when a song pops into my head or I'm emotionally overwhelmed. It helps me to calm down. I haven't needed to do this in quite a while, the end of last year actually.

*flashback*

Mascara was running down my face as I ran out into the grounds and sat by the lake. I pulled out my guitar, my mind still wrapped around what I just saw.

I began to play a quick but gentle sounding tune,

"Let me know, how's it feel
To be under my skin, wrapped around my heart
Is it like anywhere you've been?
And everything I do, I do it just for you"

the song began to get louder as I got angrier. Thinking of that prick standing there, as if waiting for someone and my heart soaring to the sky. I felt like I was walking on a cloud.

"So why the hell don't you love me?
Why the hell don't you need me like I need you?
Are you so far above me?
Don't you know that there's nothing I wouldn't do?
But I was just a toy, which you destroyed
Stupid boy"

I let my emotions show in the chorus before slowing down the tune slightly,
So it was back to being gentle. I keep thinking of how he was just slightly pouting, as if annoyed that his date was late. Wow. He thinks that much of me? I had thought. I had deluded my stupid self into actually believing that he was interested in me.

"I have been looking in, trying to read your mind
Give you the benefit of the doubt, every single time
And then you walk right by, I'm screaming out inside"

As the song got louder again I thought about how he had his hands in his pockets, leaning so casually against the wall. He looked up in my direction, and straight at me. He smiled, beamed actually. Then he put his hand forwards as if inviting me to take it. My breath caught in my throat.

"Why the hell don't you love me?
Why the hell don't you need me like I need you?
Are you so far above me?
Don't you know that there's nothing I wouldn't do?
But I was just a toy, which you destroyed
Stupid boy"

Then I was shoved to the floor, the leggy blonde behind me pushed me in her excitement to get to MY date. But he enveloped HER in a hug. What is he doing? I remember thinking while my eyes widened in horror. Then he did the worst thing I could imagine. He leaned in slowly and... Kissed her.

"Let's go Amy" he said smoothly.

"It's Annie" she said slowly.

"Yeah I know, it's my nickname for you. It's original, you know. No one else will call you that." He said and winked. She went bright red and he whisked her away for the best date of HER life.

"What happens when you wake up, to see that you've lost?
You take one look at me, 'cause that's what it cost.
I was gonna be everything you need
'Cause you're everything to me"

I sat on the floor for at least half an hour after everyone had left for hogsmede. How was I so stupid? Thinking he would actually fall for a fat pig like me. That's it. I need to lose weight. I need to show Sirius Black what he missed. What he no longer can have. I sing the next verse with more passion then ever before.

"So why the hell don't you love me?
Why the hell don't you need me like I need you?
Are you so far above me?
Don't you know that there's nothing I wouldn't do?
But I was just a toy, which you destroyed
Stupid boy"

I continued to strum letting tears stream down my face and onto my guitar.

"Let me know, how's it feel to be under my skin" I sang almost desperately. Then I slowly set my guitar on the floor and put my head into my lap. Then I cried.

*end of flashback*

I reach my rock and sit down, pulling my guitar on my lap, I begin to strum a slow tune.

~~~~~~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~

I am proud of this chapter and I really liked writing it. Man, I literally felt what Layla felt throughout this chapter. I guess that's the downside of being an author. (Yeah right, there is not downside to being an author). Ok so DISCLAIMER: the song is not mine. It belongs to Taylor swift and it's called stupid boy. All rights belong to her and I gained nothing financially out of using the song, all I did was spare my readers absolutely rubbish lyrics that I could write and that would take about 13,000 years for me to write. I love the song so please don't kill me in the night (or day) for using it. I hope you guys all enjoyed the chapter and please comment and vote, also feel free to put the book in your library so that you can be told when I update. Thanks guys :)