When That's The Last Hope Left (BxB)

Chapter 42

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How did Jared remember?

He was becoming emotional, so he quickly took the other present bag and peeked inside. From there he took up carefully a cactus and a card, Jared having known cacti were the only flowers he liked.

Almost afraid, he opened the simple card attached to the plant, where read:

Stingingly but happily deep in love with you, Dan Diarmid,
my sweetums.

"What's wrong? Is this bad?" Jared asked worriedly, when studying his expressions and waiting for his reaction, noticed a tear drop on his cheek.

"Nothing's wrong, and this is all awesome" Dan said shyly, in awe looking around himself. "I don't know what to say...thank you. But I didn't know we'd give each other anything, I don't have...anything to you..."

"Don't worry about that, I wanted to surprise you" Jared smiled and pulled him closer next to him. "I'm so very happy we can spend today like this. I don't need anything, if I have you and can spend this time with you."

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What was that just a moment ago? He didn't know a single thing about anything else than kissing, but that couldn't be considered as simply kissing. He was afraid and embarrassed of having enjoyed that.

Something was wrong with him. He was almost shaking, feeling new things even in his body besides emotions. He was hot and feeling tight in his jeans, feeling like losing his mind in embarrassment of what just happened. Of course, it was fine as Jared was his boyfriend, but he still didn't understand what got into him, both inwardly and outwardly, and what was happening.

The sudden knock on the door startled him and when the door behind him opened, his heart jumped as well as his body as it moved to the sidewall out of the way.

"Dan? It's okay, sweetums" Jared's voice pierced his thoughts, as he closed the door behind him. "Please, tell me what's wrong. Did we go too fast? I'm sorry... We need to talk."

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"Both."

"Sweetums, there's nothing to be scared or worried about, nothing's wrong" Jared scooted closer and took his hands into his, making Dan's eyes widen as he couldn't hide himself anymore. "It's only natural when your body reacts as you're attracted to and love someone, and what we just did. I'd rather be worried if you didn't, and I'm sure you know I'm in the same condition."

"But i-it's embarrassing."

"It's not embarrassing if it's us, we're together and there's no need to get embarrassed. We can and need to talk about these things. Let's go back, I know this is new to you but we'll go through this together and in time, okay?"

"This isn't new to you" Dan muttered and was helped to stand up with him. "I'm just an inexperienced, childish, path..."

"Do not finish what you were about to say" Jared interrupted sharply putting his finger against his lips, followed by his own lips giving a quick, sweet kiss. "If neither of us knew anything, this would be awkward and different. You may not be too experienced yet, but I find that just very cute and attractive. It doesn't make me think or see any less of you, you're only mine, and I love you."

Not knowing what to say, Dan followed him back to their room. They settled back on his bed, with both lying down as Dan rested his head on Jared's chest who had his arm around him.

"Are you alright?" Jared queried, lightly moving his fingers on his arm, against the thin fabric of his shirt. Dan nodded, with still a hint of red in his cheeks. "You become quite handsy when you're turned on, don't you?"

"What about you?" Dan pointed at his hand even at the moment, and Jared chuckled in assent. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologise, it was damn hot and amazing. I loved it, and I know you'll learn to express yourself without getting embarrassed."

"I don't know what to think, I mean, I'm sorry I can't give you what a girl could. I know you need...more..."

"I wouldn't be gay or with you if I wanted that, with a girl" Jared pointed out, hugging him tightly.

"But you...were with a lot of girls who -"

"Dan, if my past bothers you then say so now and we'll talk it over, but I don't want to be reminded of that anymore" Jared said strictly, and Dan apologised. "I don't want to think about those relations, them, and I'm sure you don't either. Now that I've got you, I don't want anything if it's not with you. You're mine, I'm yours, and we started fresh."

"But I don't know...what I can give you."

"Don't worry or think too much about it, we'll learn together in time. There's no rush, and we took a major step already today" Jared smiled fondly, lifting his head so that he could kiss him.

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