Thoughts ~ RM X Reader

Chapter fourty six

"Guys, go to your rooms" Namjoon says not looking away from me.
"Why?"
"What's happened?"
"Just go" He snaps at them.
They leave the room, leaving me, Jin and Namjoon in silence.

"She's dead?" Namjoon says quietly but supprised.
"What?" Jin says from behind me.
"I need to- I need to be alone right now" I say standing up.
"Y/N are you ok?" Namjoon says putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course I'm not fucking okay you dumb fuck- my best friend just fucking died" I say shoving his arm away from me.
"Y/N calm down" He says putting both his hands back on my arms.
"Stop telling me to calm down- this is all my fault" I scream pushing him again, this time harder.
He stumbles back and I start sobbing.

"Yah Y/N this isn't your fault" Jin says calmly.
"If I didn't come to Korea I could've been there for her" I shout I between crying.

My whole body starts to shake with each cry and I feel the urge to throw up.

"What's all the shouting about? I'm trying to sleep" Hoseok says coming out of his room and looking at us.
I meet eyes with him and he goes to say something but I quickly turn around and run to the door.

"Y/N wait" I hear someone shout behind me.
I ignore it and run out of the building and onto the street.

She's gone.

I hold in my crying again and start to walk down the street.

She's really gone.

I clutch my self and walk down the high street. I don't even know where I'm going, I don't live in Seoul, I don't live in Korea.
I shouldn't even be here, I should be back home on streets I know with the people I know.
I walk over to a bench and put my head in my hands.

She's dead.

I start to cry again, ignoring passing people's strange looks.
I sit for a few minutes crying to myself, when I hear a voice near me.
"Y/N"
I look up and see Namjoon standing infront of me.
He pulls his mask down and gives me a weak smile.

"It's not your fault"

He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.
"I want to go home" I say quietly.
"Let's get you home then" he says softly.

He stands up and extends his arm for me. I hold onto his hand and he pulls me up and we start walking towards his car park.
"I'll drive you ok? I don't want you being alone right now" He says as we walk towards his car.
"Ok" I say quietly.
He walks to the passenger door and opens it for me, I climb inside and he closes it for me.
I pull my hood over my head and lean against the window.
He gets in and starts the car, looking over at me a few times.

"Where do you live?" He says turning on his satnav.
"I'll do it" I say reaching over and putting my address in.

He starts driving and I stay quiet.
"When was it?" He says breaking the silence.
"A few days ago"
"I'm sorry Y/N" he says sighing.

I sigh and close my eyes.

-

"Y/N, it says we're here" Namjoon says poking me.
I open my eyes and look at my house.

"You can drop me off here" I say looking at him.
The shadows of the street lights cover half of his face.
"I'm going to stay here tonight" he says unbuckling his seat belt. I don't argue with him and just keep quiet instead.
I watch as he walks around the car and opens my door.
I unbuckle my belt and get out the car, he closes the door behind me and grabs my hand.