Still ANYTHING for me? ~Seth Clearwater Love Story~

KODA. HARRY. CLEARWATER. (6)

--My POV-- 

It’s been two weeks since I moved back to La Push. Things are practically the same. Seth and I fight every day over the littlest things. Either from the way I do something to the way I’m acting. Either from the things I hate to the things he thinks what’s good for Koda. But we make up an hour later. It’s stupid how I’m always apologizing. We always fight when no one is home, when we are out alone, or when Koda is sleeping. I never want to fight in front of people because every fight, I start to cry. He just keeps yelling and yelling and I’m just arguing back with tears coming down my face. He just doesn’t know what he’s putting me through, and yet I still forgive him because I love him. 

*Here’s some advice, sometimes, enough is enough but other times, it’s normal. Don’t be like us and fight more than you guys talk. But something was different, whenever we made up, I fell more deep in love with him and forgot all about the fights.

[polyvore]

One day Seth was taking care of Koda while I was cleaning the room. While cleaning, I was putting Koda’s dream catcher in a box, so it doesn’t drop and I accidentally throw it away or break it. Seth came into my room looking pissed and started yelling.

---Seth’s POV---

I was downstairs with Koda while Kaya was upstairs cleaning the room. I was talking to Koda about his life in LA.

Me: I never got your full name Koda. What is it?

Koda: mama named me Koda Harry Clearwater

Clearwater? Did he just say Harry Clearwater? Koda Harry Clearwater? Where did I hear that name from? Koda. Koda. Koda. Koda. Kid. Koda. Clearwater. Harry. Dream. Mom. Kaya. Dad. Baby. Dream?

Me: Clearwater? I’m a Clearwater.

Koda: REALLY? But I never met my dada. His name is like yours. His name is Seth Clearwater.

Me: Seth Clearwater?

Koda: YEAH, YEAH!

Me: that’s my name.

Koda: AUNTY EMMY, I FOUND MY DADA!

Emily comes running in with her eyes wide open. Her voice was shaky when she started to talk.

Emily: wha.. What do you mean?

Koda: Seth Clearwater is the name you and mama would always say. I FOUND DADA!

Me: Emily, what is he talking about?

Emily: I don’t think I’m the right one to explain it.

Me: EMILY!

Emily: I’m.. I’m sorry Seth..

I quickly gave Emily Koda and ran upstairs to Kaya’s room. What the hell is going on?! KODA HARRY CLEARWATER! THE NAME FROM MY DREAM! THE NAME KAYA WANTED TO NAME MY SON WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSE TO HAVE ONE. Supposed to have a kid? SHE WAS PREGNANT. And she didn’t tell me? She didn’t remind me that, that was my kid? WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL ME? WHY? I barged right into her room without knocking and started,

Me: WHAT THE HELL KAYA?

Kaya: what’s wrong Seth?

Me: DON’T ACT INNOCENT!

Kaya: what’s,

Me: KODA. HARRY. CLEARWATER.

Kaya: how did you,

Me: HE TOLD ME.

Kaya: can you please stop yelling?

Me: HOW CAN I? HUH? YOU JUST PRACTICALLY KEPT A BIG SECRET FROM ME THIS WHOLE TIME YOU WERE HERE.

Kaya: it was for the best Seth.

Me: HOW? KEEPING ME FROM MY SON? KEEPING OUR SON AWAY FROM HIS FATHER? WHY KAYA, WHY?

Kaya: You forgot I was even pregnant! That’s when I knew you weren’t even ready. My pregnancy didn’t even cross your mind once!

Me: Because you were all I thought about. I found out you were pregnant a month before you left. And we didn’t talk that whole month! How was I supposed to remember?

Kaya: YOU ARE THE FATHER. You should remember without me reminding you!

Me: how long did you think you were going to keep this from me?

Kaya: I was hoping till it was the right time.

Me: and when would that be Miss Hunt?

Kaya: WHEN WE WOULD STOP FIGHTING.

Me: We don’t fight.

Kaya: yeah, sure. *sigh This is what I was trying to prevent in the first place, when I decided to come back.

Me: what? Keep your son a secret from his father?

Kaya: from falling in love with you even more. 

Me: I guess you didn’t love me enough to actually tell me. YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME HUH? TOO BUSY ON THAT GUY YOU IMPRINTED ON!

Kaya: Here. We. Go. Again. Seth.

Me: again? What are you talking about, Kaya?

Kaya: You. Me. Us. This. Fighting. Accusing. You leaving. Me apologizing. Talking like nothing happened. Something ruins it. Then we are back at it. I’m sick and tired of it. This is one of the reasons why I left in the first place.

Me: why did you keep this a secret Kaya?

Kaya: I was waiting till I was ready, till you were ready.

Me: I was ready since day 1.

Kaya: not from all this fighting, you weren’t. Have you noticed that since day two I was here, we’ve been fighting every single day? Why is that Seth?

Me: because you push me to the point where you need to get it straight in your head.

Kaya: by yelling at me, making me fight back? Making me cry every single day?

Me: if it’s the only way.

Kaya: it’s not.

Me: you know what? Fine. Maybe we did take it a little too fast. But you can’t keep our son away from me.

With that said, I left. When I left, she was already on her bed, crying. I wanted to comfort her but at the same time, I was mad at her. I went downstairs and found no one there. Maybe Emily brought Koda to the grocery store. I left Sam’s house and walked home. Thinking about everything Kaya and I talked about. It’s true. We fought every single day and she’s the one always apologizing. In the beginning of the day, we are awkward then get comfortable, then in mid-day we fight, then at the end of the day, we make up. Then the cycle starts all over again.Maybe I am the problem. Maybe she’s right about it not being the right time. NO, BUT SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO KEEP MY SON’S IDENTITY AWAY FROM ME. I’ll talk to her tonight. She’s going to blow it all over it and probably apologize just like always. I went inside the house, and went straight to my room.