I exist I exist I exist

Phobia

So I have venephobia if you didn't know. If you know me then I'm pretty sure you know this already. People don't take me seriously and they laugh it off so I learn to pretend it's funny as well. Today I was in ap human and Ryan asked me why I cry when people talk about veins. I told him to shut up and then laughed so he wouldn't think I was trying to be mean, but they took that as it being okay to talk about it I guess so they kept talking about it and then they started talking about getting shots and where the needle goes and the whole time I was feeling more and more unwell until Ryan pulled up his sleeve and rubbed his wrist and said "no, the shot goes in here" a that I put my head down and I started crying.

I texted Jazzmine and she met me after class and hugged me and talked to me for a bit and I felt better after that. When I got home I took my homework and brought it into my moms room to hang out with her while I did it since Gabriel and I are going to our dads for thanksgiving break and won't see her. Her and Gabriel are watching that parasite show where the people get stuff in them that eats them and I was getting lightheaded from it so I asked Gabriel to change the channel. He turns it to my 600lb life and the very first words I heard were "and we'll insert this through your vein" to which I screamed and told him to change it. I thought he changed it so I looked up and I saw something horrifying and I started screaming and screaming until my mom got him to change it.

So yeah. Today hasn't been the best day.

I need to stop talking about this, my wrists are tingling and I'm freaking out a bit.

I'm sick of this like what a weird thing to get panic attacks over but yup that's what kills me. I'm okay with watching people get eaten alive on twd (rip shiva) but nope I can't handle this. I need to curl up in a ball and sleep this bad day away.