I exist I exist I exist

it hurts

I can't remember but it hurts all over

I can't remember I can't remember I can't remember

I just want to stay in bed

It hurts to move
It hurts to cry
It hurts to remember

They don't remember

I want someone to listen and to understand

How can they understand if I can't?

It's been so long and it all disappears but I can still feel it in me. It's rotting and falling apart but it still hurts.

How am I going to move? I can't speak or think.

It's almost noon and the thoughts have come already. They're supposed to come at night. Yesterday as I rode my bicycle home I had to fight tears. I keep crying over it.

It's been years. Why does it still hurt? Why is it so hard to remember?

I don't think I can keep on existing.

I tried to talk to someone about it when it hurt too much last weekend but they left me to be alone.

I'm so alone. I told them what happened but I don't think they care. Why would they? I'm rotting and ugly inside. I can't go on.

But I have to. Does the world exist?