I exist I exist I exist

Messes

I always ruin things. It's ingrained into my very being, I guess.

I hate myself sometimes. I hate everything about me. I hate my stupid fucking personality, my stupid brain, my stupid everything. I don't deserve life. I don't deserve these friends who are so kind. I don't deserve any of it. All anyone says to me is kind things and i hate the cruelty of it. I want someone to hurt me. I want someone to hit me and tell me I'm worth nothing. I want someone to tell me the truth.

I ruin everything I touch, everything I speak to. I ruin, I ruin, I ruin. You should run before I ruin you.

I hate myself. I want myself to suffer. I want myself to die. I deserve pain and hatred, so give it to me! I ruin. I ruin everything.

Soon all of you will realize what I am and you'll leave. Soon. All I can do is ruin. Ruin. Ruin. Ruin. Ruin. Ruin. Ruin.

Hate me, please.