I don't really know what to do. I feel fuzzy lately. My room is so dirty. I'm working on it but it takes so long.
It kind of hurts that he stopped talking to me when it was bad. I guess it was my fault. I don't really know, I feel a mess. I want to scream it out.
I found some things on tumblr. I guess my tumblr has become a self pity account or something. It's pretty much pictures that make me sad but make me feel secure. If that makes sense.
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It feels as though it just happened. I don't understand why it all hurts so much now. After more than ten years. Why does it hurt so much now?
I don't understand. I feel guilty for being so upset.
I can't imagine myself living. Past high school I am nonexistent. What will I be? Nothing more. I can't become anything. I'm stuck as who I am now. I'm stuck being weak and fragile and alone.
How am I supposed to talk about what happened?
I told him and he stopped caring I think. I told her and she never spoke of it again. Everybody moves on but me. WHY CANT I MOVE ON?!!?!
I think about it every day now. It hurts so much. I want to speak but I'm stuck silent. Why did it have to happen. I just wish it hadn't happened. What was the point? Why? Why? Why?
It was a waste. It wasted my life. You wasted me. Why did you do it? You could have left me. Why did you do it? Why did you ruin me? I know you remember. I can see it in your fucking eyes. It hurts. You hurt me. IT FUCKING HURTS
Nobody will remember. Why can they forget. Why can't I forget? I just want to forget. I wish I didn't care. I wish it didn't hurt. I'm so torn up inside. I'll never survive.
~ ~ ~ Edit: Wattpad won't let me open up the comments on my last chapter I'm not ignoring you this app just sucks I don't even know if I'll be able to post this. TheGamingOtaku
