Shot Down

Chapter 8

I somewhat now regret what I did. I don't know why. What if he actually had to talk to me. What he could have said would have changed everything. But most of all, I regret not kissing him back. I just don't want to fall into a trap that I can't get out of. I don't want to fall for him just to get hurt. I don't want to get into that lifestyle and get killed or end up loving him and he gets killed. What if I'm just saying all of this because I watch too many movies and this type of thing. Whatever it is, I wish I could make up my mind. 

I don't want to give in to him and end up like every other girl he has been with. I really don't want to end up with him at all. I guess it's just all in my head and I need to get over it. But how? He is now constantly on my mind and I can't get him out. Everything that he has done has made me more interested in him, in good and bad ways. He isn't different, not at all. Although he is different to me, he has introduced to me something new in life. I don't want to be weak, or come out as I am weak for me running back to him. What if I don't run back to him and he never talks to me again, and go on to the next girl. There are a lot that of girls that'll happily open their legs for him, but I'm not that girl. Maybe him not talking to me again would be a good thing, I would get over him, get him out of my mind and worry about more important things, like graduating. Although I have been worrying about that a lot and I am at the last few weeks before Summer comes. He can not ruin this for me, no one can. 

I threw the covers off of my body and went downstairs, my father was on the couch watching TV. I took a deep breath before walking past him towards the kitchen, "What are you doing up?" He asked me. I turned towards him and his eyes were still on the TV. "I couldn't sleep." I stated.

"Well, you know. I can't sleep that much either." He got up heading towards me. "Because of what your little friend did to me." I started to back up, I knew he was mad, and he hasn't taken his anger out on me yet from that day's event. "I-I didn't know he was going to do that. I didn't tell him to." I pleaded.

"But you still talk to him, you still associate with him!" He yelled at me. "You lied to me." His voice went down. I was prepared for any pain to come towards me, but he didn't do anything but stare at me. He shook his head turning around sitting back down on the couch, "Stay away from him. That is my last warning." He said, turning his attention back to the TV.

"Okay." I said lowly, heading towards the kitchen.

I opened the cabinet, got a glass and put some water inside of it. I sat down at the table and everything came back to my head. I groaned aloud. What made him so important to me? A boy has never been on my mind in this type of way. I don't even like him, he doesn't like me, but he has that type of spark in him, that is bringing me towards him. Although, my father... He is pushing me away from him. I know that is the best thing to do. Although maybe him pushing him away his making me want him more. So that I could show him, that now he isn't the boss of me anymore. I knew I had no type of courage, but I wanted to believe I did. I wanted to show that I did. This was hopefully the last year that I was with him, and I refuse to let this end off horrible. I want him to know that he will not control me the rest of my life. Where was all of this courage coming from? This sense of rebellion. 

I took out my phone and went towards Don's contact. I was debating on whether to press the call button or to close it out. I bit the bottom of my lip as I stared at the screen, then a message popped up, it was from Don.

'good girl gone bad? ;)'