Breaking Black (A Sirius Black Love Story)

Chapter 100

I made the front page of the Daily Prophet. Well, Sirius did, but they mentioned me in the article. The whole article was about what a nasty and wicked man Sirius was and how the writer couldn't wait to see him rot in Azkaban. The one sentence about me only stated I was his wife and that I'd been questioned and released. The picture they used for him was what scared me the most. It was a picture they'd taken when Aurors dragged Sirius away from the scene where he murdered Peter and the Muggles. He looked hysterically mad, and he was laughing, which only made me feel worse. Sirius just killed three of his best friends and twelve others and he was laughing.

I was staying at my mother's small house instead of my own. I couldn't bear to look at all the memories on the walls and objects that reminded me of Sirius. My mother barely spoke a word to me for the first few days. She was in shock about her son-in-law and the death of my best friends. I was in shock too. Only Cassie seemed unfazed by the historic events happening around her and to her family.

Multiple owls were sent to me regarding James and Lily's deaths. Some people seemed to blame me, as pointed out in their dangerous, potion-soaked letters and Howlers. Their funeral was the worst day of my life. Not only was I mourning, but no one wanted to associate with me. Even Mr. and Mrs. Weasley ignored me, looks of shame and disgust on their faces when I attempted to talk to them.

Peter didn't have a funeral. I sent my condolences to Mrs. Pettigrew, who sent me a Howler in response. The largest bit they found of him after he was blown up by Sirius was a single finger.

On November tenth, I received a letter from a scrawny owl. Fearing it was another hateful letter, I nearly incinerated it before it fell to the table. But when I opened it and read it, I found it was from none other than Remus Lupin, who also avoided me at my questioning and at the Potters' funeral. He was inviting me to his house.

I almost didn't go to see him. But the following evening, I found myself standing on his doorstep in the cold, knocking quietly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear me arrive and I could leave. Instead, I opened the door myself when I heard his footsteps inside. Cassie clinging to my neck, Remus stared at me as if he were looking at a ghost. I probably looked like one, I wasn't eating as I should and the frown on my face made my face gaunt.

Remus rushed forward and hugged me, starting to cry within seconds. I remembered the last time we spoke face to face. I was accusing him of being the spy and he was accusing Sirius. Oh, how wrong I was.

"I'm so sorry, Remus," I choked. "I never should've thought it was you who was the spy. I let him convince me and conspire right under my nose!"

Remus didn't say a word, just sobbed into my hair. Lily, James, Peter... Gone because of my husband. It still didn't seem real. I didn't want to accept it.

We probably would've just cried, embracing each other for hours, but Cassie started to pout. We situated ourselves in Remus' small living room, with Cassie on the rug contently playing with some dishes. In fact, she seemed to love being around Remus again. I admired her obliviousness to the situation. Her godmother was dead, and her father was a murderer. And her own mother was completely and utterly broken. Every time she looked at me with those beautiful grey eyes and said "Dada?" another piece of my heart shattered.

I sat on the lumpy couch and Remus brought me a warm but tasteless cup of tea. He pulled up a chair beside me and mournfully watched as Cassie happily banged a spoon on a plate. His house was drafty in the chilling fall wind.

"What will I do now, Remus?" I whispered, breaking the mournful silence. "I'm a single parent... Poor Cassie..."

"Poor Harry, more like," Remus sighed. "No parents at all."