Breaking Black (A Sirius Black Love Story)

Chapter 85

We didn't know exactly which Death Eaters killed the McKinnons and my brother's family. Dumbledore wouldn't even tell us what Marlene was doing with the 'cup.' I begged him to never assign a task like that to a member again. Whatever her secret Order task was, it got her killed along with her loved ones, a terrible fate no one else needed to endure.

Since I didn't know who killed her, I didn't have any other person to blame except myself. We were in a different country when they were all viciously murdered. If only I'd been babysitting Alex that night or taking Felix out for his birthday a month early... In a way, since I had no specific murderer to blame, I blamed myself.

I finally told my mother everything about my involvement with the Order of the Phoenix. The Order of the Phoenix was a group everyone in the wizarding community knew about, just like they knew about the Death Eaters, but no one knew who was a part of it. Through tears, she told me she always suspected it, how proud it made her, but she begged me to stop, for our family's sake. Sirius was there for the whole conversation. She looked at us both with sincerity and said she didn't want to lose another son and her daughter to the war. I almost considered quitting, but I knew we were too involved and the war would follow us, even if we went in hiding. Quitting didn't put us at any less of a risk. We knew too much.

No mother should ever have to bury their child. Even worse is a funeral for an infant. Deep down, I knew Felix, Brittany, Alex, and the McKinnons were just caught up in a plot to kill Marlene. No one deserved to die, but their deaths were uncalled for. The Death Eaters were killing just to kill and induce fear. They were only in the way and shown no mercy.

It was raining the day everyone was buried. The weather reflected the mood of the mourners. The burial was unannounced and a small affair, in fear of Dark Wizards crashing the event. Only close family and friends attended, however, for a funeral of six people, the sea of people in the cemetery ended up being close to two hundred witches and wizards.

The crowd was all dressed in black. We stood at the front of the group. I wore a black dress, my hair tied back in a tight, severe bun that rivaled McGonagall's typical hairstyle. Sirius coaxed me to wear one of his cloaks over the dress in fear of me catching a cold. He stood beside me, casting an umbrella charm over our heads. I stupidly wore minimal makeup, thinking I was done crying. But when my mother reached over and took my hand, I regarded her teary eyes and look of despair and felt an icy hand squeeze my heart. The tears started coming again and I leaned my head on her shoulder, only making her cry more.

Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon were buried side by side first, then Felix and Brittany were buried with Alexander's casket between them, and Marlene was buried alone under a willow tree in the same graveyard. The service was beautiful, but all I could do was stare at the headstone in disbelief, where the name Felix Stryker was written. Mum and I were the last to touch the casket of Felix, leaving our fingerprints on the glossy wood. The caskets were slowly lowered into the ground with a levitation spell. As people cleared out, leaving us alone, we dropped red roses into the three graves, the vibrant petals glistening with rain.

Mum and I trekked up the muddy hill to Marlene's grave, slipping on the slick grass. People parted to allow us to the front, where Sirius, Lily, James, Peter, and Remus were waiting for us.

Marlene's funeral was the only one with a closed casket. Sirius never told me what he witnessed in Felix's office, but he told me to remember Marlene as the last time I saw her- happy and waving us off for our honeymoon. It was better that way. Her black casket with gold embellishments was the last of the six to be lowered into the ground. People who only knew my brother and my family cleared out of the graveyard by that time. A crowd of merely fifty gathered around the willow.