If Only She Knew (Lesbian stories)

Chapter 26

"Hey", I said as I put my keys on the cabinet. I didn't get an answer. "Lily?" I walked into the kitchen and saw her sitting on the same chair she was sitting on when I left, reading her book. "Oh hey, sorry I didn't hear you come in", she said. I walked over to her. "That's okay." I wanted to kiss her, but she didn't even flinch. "Okay what's going on?", I asked. She looked at me. "What do you mean?" I leaned against the counter. "You've been acting weird and you've distancing yourself. Why?" "I haven't? What makes you think that?" I sighed. "We haven't done anything together in over two weeks, you don't seem to know when I'm here or not. Just tell me what's up. Is it me? Have I done something?", I said as I paced back and forth. She put down her book and walked up to me. "No, it's not you at all. It's nothing. I didn't even realize I was being distant, I'm sorry", she said as she cupped my face. "No", I said. "No? No to what?" "I don't think it's nothing. I think you've been hiding something from me and I can't seem to figure out what", I said. She pulled back her hands.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I just don't want to talk about it. Not you, not anyone", she said. I looked at her. "It has, but I'm not asking you to talk about it. I'm asking you to at least tell me what's going on." She shook her head. "You don't get it do you? I literally just said I don't want to talk about it, and now you're asking me to talk about it." I sighed. "Again, I'm not asking you to talk about it. I just want some clarity. All I'm asking is for you to trust me enough to at least tell me if you're okay", I said. She bit the inside of her lip out of nervousness. "I'm okay. I just need some time for myself, that's all. Can you live with that?", she said. I nodded.

And then I thought back to the conversation I had with Jake. "You know you can always come to me right? To just talk for a little, or express your emotions. Anything." She gave me a small smile. "I know, thanks, but I'm good." I nodded. "I'm gonna head upstairs and continue my book."

I was typing the words when Jake popped up in my head.

"I'm out of breath now", I said. "Shouldn't have eaten so much", he said. He kept jumping and tackled me again. We were now face to face. For a second it felt like everything was back to normal. Jake being my boyfriend, Lily just being my best friend, and it felt kind of nice. He looked me in the eyes and slowly leaned in.

I got pulled out of my thoughts by a bang. I waited for a second and heard another bang. I saved what I had written and put down my laptop.

"Lily?", I said as I slowly walked down the stairs. Then I heard screaming. I peaked my head around the corner. "Why can't you just be normal!", she yelled as she threw her book across the room. She sat back down with her face buried in her hands. "You have the most amazing girl, and you can't even give her the attention she needs", she said to herself. I slowly walked into the room. "Lily?" She looked up. "Are you okay?", I asked. Tears were rolling down her face. She shook her head. I walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. I rubbed her back. "I get you're not feeling okay, but don't you ever say that about yourself again, okay?", I said. She looked at me. "But it's true. I don't deserve you", she said. She was breathing heavily. "Sit down", I said. I poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.

"Just take a deep breath", I said. She did as I said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on", she said. "It's okay. I don't even need you to tell me what's going on, because I know you don't want to talk about it." She shook her head. "No, you deserve to know."