a Big Mess of Weird Stuff

January 2018

The 8th of January (a Monday)

19.31

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I really don't. If school starts again after a really nice holiday, you are so soon pulled into the routine of daily, tiring life, school life. The only good thing about school right now, is the test week in one week. I don't why, but I have the feeling that this is going to be good test week and I am really driven to do my best. I also have great things to look forward to.. In the spring holiday, I am going to Italy again. With school  I am going on exchange to Spain with a Spanish student. (Together with Dorine, I have great plans to party (It is only the second time we go together on a school trip, because she is in Asia, every time we have one)) And.. In the may holiday, I am going to the USA :DD YAY!! It's only the second time I ever went out of Europe (once went to Morocco). Yesssss. It is always been my dream to go on a world trip (hence my location on Wattpad (you know the part on your profile)). I hope I will daily write about my adventures on my trips, but I am probably too tired or I forget it.. Oops. Happens to me quite a lot... hihi. 

Today, I had a free day (last day of the Christmas holiday, sad) and was planning to watch a Star Wars movie marathon together with Jared. (my mom is annoying, after he left, she was pointing at all the same interests we have. Sigh.) (I stopped her by saying: 'well, I am not going to bring any friends home anymore.') We were trying to put the dvd in the dvd player (yeah, I know, old-fashioned), but there was some lock on it. We were like: 'what?' So we tried another film. Also had a lock. Did you know that there is a lock on dvd's, so you can't play any films bought in a different region? I didn't know that. The Star Wars' dvd's were from the US and our dvd player is set on the region: The Netherlands and Belgium. There were tricks on sites how you could crack your dvd player: didn't work. So we eventually decided to watch a Star Wars movie on Netflix: Rogue One (great movie). 

It was a little bit awkward with Jared after we finished the movie. I thought we could watch something else, but he wanted to go. I put on some weird program: Skins (Merel told me about it), but that is a really odd program to watch together with a friend you know six months, and don't know so well. So yeah, awkwardness. Yay..

The 9th of January (a Tuesday)

17.50

Jared didn't mind watching the weird program, because he finished the episode at home and told me today: 'it is weird' and laughed. 

I only have one question for you: is it weird that something a friend of me said: 'guys find you pretty' , but that it keeps popping up in my head? The conversation where she asked this was about who of our group would be the first one to have a boyfriend. (I do have friends which are in a relationship, but we were talking about our squad :P) Most people say I am the person who will be the first to have a boyfriend, so I asked: 'why me?' and then she told me that. Now it keeps popping up in my head, because I disagree with it and how the hell does she know that? Sigh. 

The 13th of January

22.40
Oh my God... How much if a bad friend I can be more? I am just awful.

Yesterday I stood someone up, well, I was just very late and she was already going. I didn't talk the whole trip with her, but she was angry, even though she wasn't talking about me when she said 'they have to stop doing that, because.. Arghh.' I just had the feeling that she was talking about me, because that sudden anger doesn't magically appear, it has been built up. And I was one of the causes.

I am also a bad friend, because I forgot someone's birthday. I did congratulate her, but... I already texted her about her birthday party, but didn't think like: 'oh wait, I have to wish her happy birthday, because today is her birthday.' God, I just hate myself right now. I want to bang myself against a wall, just like actors in comedy series.
I keep telling myself right now that it is not as bad as it is, and that I did wish her a happy birthday, but.. How the hell did I forget this? I talked to her yesterday!

*I have test week, so that is probably the reason why this chapter will be longer. (I always use my computer for learning (normally I don't use it) (yeah weird))

The 21st of January

16.26

Pfew, she doesn't hate me. We are still friends! And I am invited to her birthday party. I am less worse than some of her friends, one person totally forgot it and another congratulate her the day after. 

Over one week, I am going to turn 16. I can't quite comprehend it. Two days ago, I thought it was still two weeks till my birthday. Hihi. I don't really know hat I am going to do for my birthday party, but I will probably throw my party in the summer, together with Judi. Yaaayy.

I don't know why 16 is such a big deal. I think it is because I thought I would have been through more things than I thought I would have, but you just can't force it, so we'll see when it all happens. Maybe it will happen when I go on to Spain with school, because I am going to party, oh yes, I am. 

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Well, I turned 16. It didn't really change anything. 

Hihi. I really have the feeling I have the most boring life ever..

xx

Layla