Turning Point (A Reaching Out Novel)

One Hundred Ten

Do you ever have a that feeling that you know that you're asleep, but you're not because there's so much going on inside your head? That's how I slept last night, I think I'm still sleep-thinking right now.
So, what's going on inside my head? I'm thinking how bad it is that Harry isn't gonna be with us on Zach's birthday, and I think I am missing my husband so bad, he shouldn't have stayed with me that long after giving birth to Zach, I'm now having separation anxiety far worse than Zach.
I think eventually I'd grow tired of him, not to the point that I'd end up divorcing him. But I think I'd grow tired of missing him every time he's gonna be out on tour or duty. Because it's actually pointless, he'd be out more than being with me and Zach, but at least he'd be there unlike any other busy dads-slash-husbands.
Call it gross but I really think I miss my husband, especially when he is all over me, he shouldn't have had sex with me the first time after Zach's birth if he's not gonna be able to keep up with it, it got so bad that I actually flew to New York just to have sex with him. I miss the way his hands feel, it's in between of being soft because he's a prince and being rough because he's a man and he's in the army. But don't get me wrong, his body feels like holy fuck he's Prince Charming.
I miss hearing the way he said love in person, it just doesn't feel the same hearing it from a computer speaker. I miss waking up with his arms around me, generally, feeling him around me. Just him generally.
"Love." See, I miss him so bad that I'm actually thinking of him calling me the way he usually does. Not great.
I woke up shortly after that.
And then there he was, sleeping right next to me, with his arm, on my waist, holding me close.
Oh my god.
I booped his nose, and he flinched. He's really here.
Harry.
He's here. I ran my fingers through his hair. The familiar texture, the familiar color, hell, even the fucking smell.
"Harry." I whispered.
He didn't even move, his breath just deepened.
"Harry." I whispered again.
"I'm home." He whispered, still with his eyes closed.
"I know, uh-" he opened his eyes and looked at me.
"I've gone crazy the whole time I was away and crazier when you and Zach left me on New Year's Day."
I just looked at him, I don't know if I have morning breath today, and him being tired and I know he just needs his wife right now and I need my husband but I think I may have morning breath.
"I've gone crazy to the point that I think I finally know why we aren't allowed to play Monopoly."
Okay, we both know that we aren't allowed and the whole family is not allowed to play that game but Harry being married to me and him being him, we have this secret iPad that has the app in it. And both of us don't really understand why the hell aren't we allowed to play it.
Apparently he does now.
"Why aren't you talking? I'm not a mirage here, or an apparition. I'm here." He said, pointing at the luggages carefully scattered or something in our room.
The thing is, I'm a neat freak sometimes and it irks me that helps are around to clean up the mess at the same time love them because Harry can sometimes mess things up.
I just blinked at him.
"Oh, this happens most mornings." And then he kissed me.
"Oh god, I missed you so much." I said
"I missed you too." He said, hugging me.
"Well, you should have told me that you were on your way home, then at least I could have brushed my teeth."
"They don't taste like anything, believe me. And they're really not stinky and I really missed you and I have waited for you to wake up for quite some time now."
I hugged him again.
"What time did you arrive?" I asked
"Three hours ago."
"You could have waked me up." I said as I pulled back.
"You sounded so sad last night that you fell asleep  while I was talking to you."
"I did?"
"I didn't hang up though, well I hung up three hours ago. But I stayed on the line."
"You didn't have to do that." I said as I stood up and got Zach.
"Hey, buddy." Harry said as Zach reached for him.
"He missed you." I said
"Of course he did, because his daddy missed him too." He began baby-talking.
But then Zach smelled like he needed a diaper change.
"Oh-" I started
"I'll change him." Harry said
"Say what now?"
"You don't trust nannies, and you're tired and I wanted to bond with my son."
"Oh, you just wanted to see if he is a distance peer."
Harry smiled.
"Well, I'm pretty sure he's got his family jewels from his father."
I rolled my eyes.
"Fine then, I'm taking a shower and you go change him. And please know that I do trust a nanny. To watch him at least." I said
Harry was holding Zach on the bed, Zach mindlessly babbling things to his father. And then Harry was saying yes to whatever Zach is saying.
"We have to go down. We are celebrating with the whole place for Zach's first birthday."
Actually, we ended up just walking past them, they were all too busy to stay long which was fine and understandable. But they even bothered to hand Zach a gift.
"Love?" Harry said
"Yeah?"
"I don't know how to celebrate a first birthday."
"What?" I said
"I mean, we are not really huge fans of birthday bashes and-"
"It's actually just a sentimental issue. He won't remember it."
"We will-"
"We'd be having dinner tonight with your family, surely they know a thing or two about parties."