The hospital gave her a room, and someone comes in to check on us all of the time, we're in the psych ward, just because of what we've just gone through. They wanna make sure that we're ok, and we'll be in a good headspace when we leave. "Do you wanna cuddle?" I question turning to her. "I'll do anything you want?" I mumble sadly. She's been very spoiled I went out this morning and brought her breakfast and teddy bears and chocolates and flowers. And she's still so sad. I've done all I can think of, and Valentine's Day is soon too and I can't think of a single thing to get her so she'll be happier. I was thinking of adopting a pet for her. She's allergic to dogs too, but she really wants a puppy, but I could also get her a hairless cat because she's always wanted one of those.
"Will you come and sing to me?" She mumbles and I sigh lightly.
"Baby you know I don't sing," I beg almost I don't need to hurt her anymore with my terrible vocal skills.
"I heard you singing in the shower? And you sing all of the time when your earbuds are in, I just want one song, any song you want." She begs, but stands slowly heading to the bathroom to change the album diaper she's wearing because of the bleeding.
"Alright love, what song do you want me to sing?" I cuddle her and groan to myself. The things you'd do for those you love.
"Can you sing say something?" She smiles at me and I roll my eyes.
"Not only do you want me to sing, but you want me to sing a sad song, not to mention a challenging one." I shake my head but her smile takes away all of the fear I could've had about singing to her. If she's happy then I don't wanna take it away. Even if I suck and she tells me to shut up I hope she can't just laugh at me about it. At least she'll be happy.
"Thank you," She nods melting into my arms. She's finally more at ease, and that's all I could've asked for.
"Hello you two," my mother smiles walking in with a bag of something. "I just came to check in, make sure all is well?" I nod at her and so does Cam.
"It's still hard, but we're coping with our pain." She nods hugging me with all she can.
"We're trying to at least." I nod bringing her closer yet again. Progress hasn't been made very quickly but we're trying. It'll always be hard to loose someone, but a life that she feels responsible for, one that I gave to her without even knowing it, she thinks it's her fault.
"Well, when you two are out we've all got some surprises." She smirks, it's almost an evil look because she knows so much that we don't. "Here," She smiles at the bag she's been holding. "I brought you some lunch." I set it on the table by the seat I'm supposed to use. Cam doesn't like it though, so I'm always in her arms and she's always in mine.
"Thanks mom," I smile while Can turns giving her the same one.
"I appreciate it," She nods at my mother who comes giving us both hugs.
"This is a horrible loss for anyone to suffer, and it's gonna hurt a lot for a while." She explains calmly and softly. "But we need to be ok with the fact that the baby just wasn't ready." She nods at us and we nod back.
"Thanks," I nod while Cameron tries to fight back her tears.
"Alright, I'm gonna head out, I'll come back tomorrow." She nods sadly walking out the door.
"Are you two good to talk for a bit?" A nurse pokes her head in and enters at my nod. Cameron's home numb with a lack of emotion and all she's been doing, all she hasn't said is because she's trying to swallow her pain.
"What do we need to talk about?" Cameron questions looking up at the nurse the one that'd made her birth our baby.
"Once we release you there's lots of precautions." He explains while she squeezes me. "Like no sex for six weeks, and you might still experience bleeding, nausea, pains, shortness of breath, and some other pregnancy symptoms."
"So how about working?" She questions nervously. She knows she won't get fired.
"I'll write you a note and everything but no working for the six weeks either. That's about when your hormones should go back to normal."
"Alright," she sighs, pushing me down and laying on top of me. She just wants to cuddle, that's all she ever wants is cuddles, my little cuddle bug.
"And, were gonna move you to the recovery ward for the night and you'll be released tomorrow." It's been nice having the constant care and I know she feels the same, but it'll be nice to be home and able to grieve by ourselves.
"Thank you," She nods while another nurse brings a wheelchair.
"I'll bring her," I hold a hand out to the nurse. She has nothing she needs transported expect for a small bag the doctors grabbed for us while I lift her up. She wears some ugly hospital pyjamas and slippers. Shoes hurt her feet, and the hospital likes her in their weird clothes instead of her own just so they can monitor easier. "I love you," I whisper kissing her cheek while we walk through the halls of the hospital, the psych ward was so quiet, it's louder out here, it hurts my head.
"I'm gonna love you too," She nods against my head searching for more warmth from the friction. She's been sick on top of all of this so they've come in to give her cold medicine regularly.
"What should we do princess?" I question while we're left in the room, all alone. "Should we cuddle? Or should we talk or watch movies?" I'm listing everything that comes to mind.
"Can we talk and cuddle, and maybe later we can watch a movie?" She slips right underneath the thin hospital blankets so I pull out the one that our parents brought, after hours of arguing about wether or not it was the right blanket. They finally found her favourite blanket and brought it in for her or sleep with. "Thank you," She smiles pushing the blankets back and remaking the bed just so she could wrap herself in the soft blanket. I could care less about wether or not I have one, as long as my baby girl's warm and comfortable.
"What should we talk about?" I lay next to her. She places her head in my chest and she smiles wrapping her arms and some of the blanket around me as she does so.
"I don't, I don't know." She yawns, she needs sleep, no matter how much I wanna just talk to her and play games and watch movies, she's tired.
"How about we take a nap, and when you wake up, we'll watch Netflix and cuddle to try and cheer ourselves up, ok?" I smile doesn't at her while she nods.
"Can you, can you put me to bed like you did at home?" She yawns again it seems like forever since we've been home, or slept in the same bed, but really it's only been a couple of days. The only thing is, I was away before so it's been a week, a little more than a week now since we've been in the same bed, and I haven't been able to put her to sleep the same way either.
"You wanna spoon?" I giggle and she nods, I want her to move herself but she's so exhausted she won't do it. "Sweet dreams princess," I smile at her kissing her cheek repeatedly while she hums a soft goodnight letting her eyes close. "I love you."
