"That was amazing." She sighs of relief, complete and utter relief. It might've been amazing for her but I didn't feel it. I had to fake it because I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I was just too tired to keep going, it went right down. "You're all sweaty," she giggles kissing me all over. I just wish she would stop, I was never in the mood for this activity. She was, and I'm supposed to do this stuff for her. I just can't get my mind off of our situation, my wife, my best friend is so entranced by the shitty sex that she doesn't notice how broken I feel. I can't get over what happened between me and my daughter. She tricked me into thinking I'd been granted my place in this family and I never did get it. I have two babies on the way, and I'm not so sure I really want one of them, and I can't tell Cameron any of it. "Goodnight," She hums.
"I love you." I whisper into her ear waiting for her response. I just need those words to sooth me back to sanity.
"I love you too." She hums laying herself on top of me. She knows that my body is her playground, but for the time being I would prefer so many other things than what I'm receiving. Regardless I'll suck it up because I love her and she would do the same for me if our roles were switched. She does the same for me nearly every day of our lives. This is the least I owe her. "Your hearts beating so fast." She mumbles she's barely awake. "Go to bed, stop stressing." Her arms hug my torso lightly, lazily but they do.
"I love you." I hum it's all I need, I just need her to say it once more for now and I can go to sleep.
"I love you too."
...
The early morning sun wakes me, and my thoughts resume their play in my mind. I meant not to wake my love but the jump caused her to stir and now she's somewhat awake. "Good morning." She smiles attaching our lips barely acknowledging the early time of four in the morning. "Did you sleep well bubbles?" The name makes me melt a little, she always knows what I wanna hear. It's just a special name for the both of us, though she stopped calling me bubbles and most of her other names once our kids came along and started understanding what was being said. I called her bubba for a really long time, or bubs, and it was her favourite name. She's always just loved the sound of it, and when she gets all giggly over a name I generally keep it around. I haven't gotten much time to call her pet names lately though.
"It's early bubs, go back to bed." I hum kissing her temple trying my best to sooth her back into the peaceful slumber I disrupted. It was unintentional and I feel really bad about what I'be done, she needs her sleep, she deserves it for all of the hours she clocks in at work and all of the hours she spends with our kids. "I won't wake you again I promise." I smile at her and she laughs.
"I have to get up anyways," she kisses my forehead and makes her way into the bathroom running herself a shower before returning. "I have work." She smiles down at me while my own face drops itself into a frown. "You have the kids today, and I wouldn't leave you if I didn't have to." I nod sadly and she sits herself next to me. "You'll do fine, just feed them and get them off to school and you can come and help me at work." She kisses my cheek hoping for the positive reaction she didn't get in the beginning.
"You're so evil," I hum kissing her bare shoulder before she springs up and towards the closet where her towel hangs.
"Come shower with me." She smiles grabbing my towel as well. "You can't be the gross parent that shows up to drop off in his pyjamas." She teases before braking into fits of laughter at the pyjamas I don't wear.
"I don't think Skylar would let me out of the house in anything other than a suit." I chuckle making Cameron smile. She has so many nicknames, I call her Cam, Cammy, Candy, and then all of the pet names she gets. She's also extremely spoiled, by me. She can get herself whatever she wants no matter where or when and she knows that, she also gets loads of presents for her birthday, on our anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and any other day of the year I feel she needs to be treated.
