The silence finally falls over the house. The door slams behind him, our baby girls cries have come to a halt, this is what she feared. And I'm the reason it came true. He has a business trip and he's going to Seattle and then New York and somewhere else I can't remember. He'll be gone eleven days, ten night, and two hours because of the planes. "Let's get you into bed." I nod at her carrying her in to her room. He took Noah, just like she'd feared.
"I don't wanna sleep tonight." She shakes her head at me and I sigh bringing her into my room.
"Daddy's coming back sweets, I promise." I hug her tightly giving her repeated kisses. "Eleven days." I hum and she nods.
"Is that a long time with no sleep?" She turns towards me. She's completely serious, she isn't even joking.
"Yes baby, eleven days in a really long time without sleep." I kiss her head softly thinking about his struggles, my baby boys struggles and my daughter. She's mortified. She's never been so scared in her life, and the only thing that's keeping her sane is the fact that we both have our rings, and that his clothes are all still here.
"Can I sleep with you? For these eleven days." Her breathing slows down every time she talks about how long it will be, or even the fact that he's gone.
"Of course you can princess, I would've been lonely." The best way to start off summer vacation. Her daddy's gone and here I sit with plane tickets and a panicked little girl. We were supposed to go on a trip with her to make up for the one that was ruined at spring break. Shawn got mad at me because I was being pushy, and now I see that I should've left him alone but I didn't see it then. We were both mad and reacting off of impulse but he left her. We both promised her we wouldn't.
"Daddy's coming back, right?" Her weak little voice goes higher and higher while she leads me out of her room so she can change for bed. She hasn't even has dinner yet.
"Yes he is love, I promise you he is." I kiss her little head. "Tomorrow we'll go visit avo and lovey ok?" I hug her tightly when we finally get to my room. "Are you hungry baby? Daddy wouldn't like it if you weren't eating?"
"I'm not hungry, I'll eat a big breakfast though mama, I promise." She nods kissing my cheek. "And I'll eat whatever avo and lovey decide to feed me." She reassures my sheer worry. She's my baby girl, the only one I have. I want one more in about two years, if my marriage can last that long. It's the test of all tests. "I'll be ok mama." She grabs my pyjamas and sets them on the bed next to me walking to go and get me some water.
"Thank you sweetheart." I smile when she returns.
"Get in bed mama, I'll take care of you." She smiles and I nod softly.
"Let me at least lock the doors and set the alarm?" I hum and she nods jumping into my arms, she doesn't want to be alone. I don't either, maybe that's why he got so angry. I just wanted him to be here with me while we packed and he said he had a work emergency he needed to get to right away.
"I love you mama," she cries against my shoulder. "And I know daddy loves us too."
...
"He just left?" His mom gasps at me while his dad holds Skylar. She won't put her prosthetic on, and she will not, under any circumstances let me put her down, let anyone put her down.
"He slammed the door in my face and left, she was hyperventilating until he walked out." I turn to the little girl who looks so lifeless even at her grandfathers jokes, she usually laughs at those. "She just stopped feeling after that." I sigh and stare at her, he broke her.
"The issue right now is in New York and he's not there now but he will be in two days. You two fly out and ambush him, he has absolutely no reason to leave and I'll call him tell him it's urgent in New York make him stay longer." She nods doing and saying anything she possibly can to help heal my daughters hurt.
"He won't buy it, he'll get all suspicious and call in." I shake my head while Manny hands her back to me. He doesn't like looking at her so sad. "Did you say hello to lovey?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Hello grandma." She looks at the ground and Shawn's mom looks like she's just been stabbed in the heart.
"Grandma?" She gasps a little trying to tease the girl. "Grandma?" She goes a little paler when Sky doesn't react with her usual giggles.
"If daddy leaves doesn't that mean that you go too? You don't have to see me if daddy doesn't," she looks up and towards me. "Right?" My eyes widen as do those on both of his parents.
"Never sweetheart, we'll stop talking to him if he leaves." Karen takes her from my arms. "You're always gonna be my sunshine." She kisses my daughters head while she leans against her grandmothers chest.
"You mean it?" She looks up and then around with her big doe eyes and her frown like smile.
"Always baby girl." She kisses her head again. "Now can you give me a smile? I need a little sunshine in my life right now."
"Thank you lovey." She smiles at me, her little face lights up and then she turns back to her grandmother. "Thank you for loving me still, I know you don't have to." She whispers hugging her so tightly. She's so innocent so sweet.
"Cameron, your phone." His dad points and I sigh answering instinctively without checking the caller ID. I wish I didn't have to answer because my baby girl is smiling and I didn't think I'd ever see her smile again. She probably won't when we leave, but she's smiling now.
"Hello?" I walk out and through the gate getting to my car where I can talk without disturbing my daughter.
"Cameron, before you hang up you just need to listen to me for a second." He rushes knowing that I wouldn't stay on the line long. How dare he call us after all he's done to rare apart our family, how dare he call after he broke my little girl into a million pieces? He has no empathy, no sympathy for the kinds of pain she must feel after her daddy promised her that he wouldn't ever leave her behind. But he did.
"What do you want?" I growl a little I have nothing to say to him, and I'm pretty sure a divorce is unavoidable when he gets back.
"I just wanna talk about Skylar Skylar? How is she is she good?"
"She's hating your rotten guts while she lays awake at night," I roll my eyes a little and look at my nails, we should get our nails done together, she'd love that, or I could at least bring her with me when I do mine. "She's been crying non stop. I can't believe you did that to her. It would be one thing if you left peacefully, but you left exactly how she dreamt you would've."
"I didn't mean to Cam," he begs a little. "Cammy?" He pleads and I groan at his ways, his words. "I needed to go and I had a bad hangover I just didn't know what else to do. I will be back I promise."
"You've broken so many of those already I don't know what to believe anymore," I let my own tears fall this time. "The love I thought I would have forever is being ruined by your poor decisions, and I don't know how to deal with the ending of our marriage." I wipe my eyes trying to stop the tears.
"Baby don't cry," he hums in a sing songy kind of way. "Just be happy for right now, be calm and happy. Think about the goo of our marriage and think about how we're gonna make this work. I promise we will hunny. But if Skylar or you find it's too much when I get back, after at least a week then I'll go." He nods. "But you gotta promise me you'll try."
"I can't make you any promises that I don't know if I can keep. But I'll do my best."
"That's all I need, I love you." He smiles even when I don't return the gesture. "I'll call you again tomorrow. I'm sorry," he sighs when I end the phone call. He doesn't deserve I love you's or apologies from me.
"It's ok mama." My poor sad little girl looks happy, and I'm ruining it for her. "Don't cry," she wipes my tears and smiles at me. "We'll be fine without him." She kisses my head wiping my tears again. "I'll be ok if he doesn't come back."
