I watch her all of the time, she pretends she's not sad, she pretends she isn't scared every night when she goes to sleep, I know she is. She can't fool me, Noah maybe but not me. Noah doesn't really know who he is anymore and mamas stopped fighting to teach him she gave up and Noah just kind of nods and smiles when we talk about him he thinks we're all crazy. "Avo?" I smile while we walk through the school field Noah jumps on him and earns himself a hug. I near him and get nothing but a disgusted look. "What are you doing here?" I try to talk to the man I assume my mama got to pick us up but he ignore me he just ignores me. "Avo?" I pout following them towards his car.
"Your mother is on the other end of the field she's waiting for you." He points and I look at my feet it's gossip around the school because my Avo is so stubborn and my lovey is so angry with me that whenever they come for Noah they discard themselves of me.
"Hi mama," I smile softly while she nods ignoring me for a phone call. It's probably important she's searching for lawyers and a new job. She's suing Avo and lovey for firing her while she was on maternity leave and she's suing them for firing her illegally. Daddy would be so angry with her but he's not around to keep the peace, to keep anything really. He kept mama sane and now she gets all jittery and fussy and she can't sit with us anymore. She has to go out all of the time and if she tries to sit she stars ticking really badly and we don't know why.
"Hello sweetheart how was school." She smiles when her call ends.
"They talk about me mama," I fiddle with my fingers. "I never meant to hurt him like I did, and lovey and avo make such a big deal out of it, they told every parent within range and now no one will talk to me, they just talk about me." I fall against the dashboard.
"Baby girl, I'm so sorry." She pouts kissing my head.
"Why didn't you give me up instead of daddy." I whine and she sighs grabbing my hand and squeezing it.
"I wouldn't have given either of you up, but I didn't have a choice." She pulls into the driveway and sighs at the for sale sign like she does every time. Daddy would be so upset, he loves this house, he built this house for us and we can't keep it anymore.
"Do we have to move?" I pout and she nods sadly opening the garage.
"Lots of people are looking at it, I think we could get a lot off of this." She nods at me and I sigh.
"I don't wanna, I wanna stay here." I beg and she shakes her head turning off the car.
"If the lawsuit goes well, we might be able to." Mama nods I walk inside throwing my stuff down and heading to my room. I'm still grounded as nice as mama is she doesn't let me out of my room most days.
"Come out for now," she nods leading me out of my room she plays with the babies on the ground, I'll just sit here and watch. I don't usually do much anyways, and when lovey and avo come back to drop off Noah they'll send me to my room again anyways.
"I miss him," I whisper while mama rolls over to see the babies reaction. Precious turns her head but she can't quite roll yet.
"I miss him too." Mama sighs making both girls wail. They hate it when mamas sad.
"I'm sorry," I mumble and she shrugs kissing both of their heads and giving them blankets. She then lifts them and lays them in the swings she has in the kitchen. Aunt Brooke will be home soon with Daisy and uncle Scott will be back any minute now from work.
"Everyone's coming over to visit tonight." She smiles in my direction and I nod I just don't care. Uncle west is gonna be mad the whole time, uncle Geoff and uncle Matt will bring things up about dad that will make mama cry and aunt Lucy and Sierra will try to make her feel better. I'll get to see my cousins though. There's Ava uncle Geoff and aunt Lucy's little girl, then there's Braxton aunt Sierra and uncle Matt's son, and there's Jaxon uncle Weston and uncle jacks son. Jacob is only a little older than me so is Braxton.
"Everyone?" I look down and she nods at me.
"Come on you love it when they come visit." She sighs a little and I nod.
"Is aunt Aaliyah coming?" I look up with hope in my eyes, she's by far the most fun because she's younger than all of them. She always hangs out with us and she never complains.
"No, not this time sweetie." She throws something into the pan on top of the stove.
"Are they ever gonna talk to us again?" They don't know that Charm's born, they've never met Precious officially, and they won't talk to us anymore.
"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know." She sighs giving both girls cold spoons to play with.
"I'm sorry I ruined our family." I look down moving only to the counter where I watch her cook.
"You ruined nothing love, they ruined it for themselves."
"I broke dad, he's never gonna come home." I sigh leaning against my hand.
"We can always visit." She tried to make me feel better but it doesn't help, I know we can't visit him, we don't even know where he is.
"Do you think he thinks about us?" I look at the babies.
"I'm sure he does," Mama nods touching my hair with a smile. "I'm sure he does, he loves us and we love him."
"What if he doesn't remember us?" I beg searching for an answer within the soothing words of my mother.
"You don't just forget the ones you love."
