Daughter of The Mockingjay

CH 16

Today was the last day of training. Yesterday was mostly a blur again. Lately, my life has been nothing but a blur to me. Griff has been nothing but nice to me, which I don't undertsand. I thought he would be mad at me for just kissing him and then telling him that I basically am confused about how I feel. But I like how he is just a friend to me. I guess that is all I could want from him. But then there is Tammin. I really like how nice he is to me, but so is Griff. I don't know. There is just something about Tammin that makes me smile. He has also been really nice to me too but occasionally he would flirt or tell me that I look beautiful. But only one comes out. So I'm just going to have to forget about both of them. In fact, I should probably just ban myself from boys, period. I quietly laughed at the thought.

I got up from my bed and took a quick shower. Slowly thinking to myself about my whole life. It felt like it just went by in a flash. My parents smiling. Darius making silly faces. Picking wildflowers in the meadow. Uncle Haymitch cracking stupid jokes while being half drunk. Hunting with my mother. Painting with my father. Hearing mockingjay's sing. Baron and I laughing. Baron. I haven't thought about him in a long time. I promised myself that I would try to forget about him. But what if I did win? And I came back. Did he find someone else? I hope so. I don't love him, like that. But he does. Whatever happens, happens.

I got dressed in my training clothes and headed out to the dining room. Griff was there already. So where my parents and Haymitch. Also Effie. I must have slept in. I grabbed a plate and started adding ounce by ounce of food on to the glass. It was at that moment I realized that we were presenting our skill to the gamemaker. I didn't even know what I was going to do.

As soon as I sit down Haymitch starts to speak. Quite loudly actually. Too much for my liking, especially in the morning.

"Okay. I know you guys must be nervous, but you need to walk in their calm. They can smell fear. Griff, show them your rope tying skills and fire- making skills. If you have extra time, mess around with a weapon and show them that your not a total wimp." He said.

I neary gaped at Haymitch. He never called Griff a wimp. But I think Griff was okay with it. He just nodded and kept eating. Haymitch kept speaking.

"Mair, show some survival skills. But mostly show them how your talented with a bow and arrow. Just like your good old mother here. How bout' that Sweetheart?" He asked me and my mother at the same time.

That made me furious. That was what Haymitch called my mother. Not me. I wasn't his "Sweetheart". I am not my mother. I will never be my mother. I know you may think I'm overreating. But I'm not. Whenever someone told me that I was just another carbon copy of my mother, I almost blew it. I have always been able to keep myself cool but this time, I was just done.

I found the first thing next to me, which unfortuanetly was a jar of jam and I chucked it at him. He looked at me as if I just gotten away with murder. "I am not my mother!" I screamed at him. My parents also looked ar me the same way Haymitch did but my mother had small tears in her eyes. What did I just do? I couldn't handle the stares especially Griff's. He looked somewhat shocked and a tiny bit disgusted and also sorry for me. I was ready to cry, so I just ran out of the room and shut my door. 

I sat on my bed in a criss-crossed position while holding my head in my hands. I checked the time. 9:30. I had a half an hour before I had to go but I was around last being in 12.

What did i just do? I thought to myself. I had just let out 15 years of anger out in one moment. My mother probably hated me. My father was probably disappointed in me. Haymitch was just mad because I threw strawberry jam at his face.

Someone knocked on my door. I didn't feel like talking but I was too nice to say no. I managed to get out a "yes, come in" without sounding like a complete wreck. The person opened the door and I braced myself for a scolding from someone. The person entered and I looked up. My father. I didn't know what to do anymore. I was now forever confused.

"What do you want? Come here to yell at me?" I asked him quietly.

He just looked at me then began speak very slowly. "How long have you felt this way? How long have you felt like your just another copy of mom?"

I took a long pause before answering," For as long as I can remember, people tell me that I am exactly like my mother. That we're almost the same person. I mean, I love mom and she is my role model but I don't wanna be her. I wanna be my own person. Treated normally. Not being conneted to what you guys did 20 years ago."

My father grabbed my hand and told me," I love you with all my heart. When I look at you, I see a bright, beautiful, young women in the making. Your mother has those qualities too. You will never be the same person as her. You have both of us in your soul. You may look like your mother but your different all the way."

I smiled."But, is mom mad at me?"

"She could never hate you." he said. And with that, he walked out of the room.

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"Marigold Mellark." The voice said. I had been waiting at least two hours to present to the gamemakers and now it was my turn. Griff had already gone. And now, it was my turn.

I got up from my seat and walked into the training center. I saw all the things to do in the training center as I looked around. The gamemakers were all sitting above me watching. A small force field srrounding them. Hah. I know how that started. My mother had sent an arrow to them.

"Marigold Mellark. District 12." I said to them.

"Yes Miss Mellark. You may begin." One of them said.

So I began. I ran over to the survival skills area and quickly strarted a fire. I blew it out and ran over to the tree course and started to climb all the trees. As I was putting my foot on the next rest, I slipped. I fell ten feet to the ground. I hit my back and let out a sound of pain. This is not good. Get up Mair. Now! I quickly got up and did a quick stretch. I looked to the gamemakers. Of course, they were barely watching. I then yelled "excuse me!". They all looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to the archery station.

I picked up the metall bow and arrow and aimed it at the big, foam, dummy. I concentrated. I had to get this right. I took in a breath and positioned the arrow. I let go. I let out a breath and opened my eyes. It hit directly in the center. I had a huge smile on my face and looked to the gamemakers who seemed impressed.

"Thank you Miss Mellark. You can go now."

I let out another breath, put down the bow, and walked out the room. One tear riding down my cheek.