Before I Die (UNEDITED)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Lance's

Walking around, I saw one familiar face...

She's smiling and looking directly where I am standing...

I walked to see her much closer but, she made me stop.

"Why!?" I asked her.

She smiled again for the answer. Then a tear fell from her cheecks. She waved her hand then started to walk away.

"Areeyah!" I shouted but she never turned around.

I shouted her name for many times until she fades.

"Lance!" May tumawag sa pangalan ko na siyang nakapagpadilat sakin.

Bumungad sakin ang nagaalalang mukha ni Wella.

"Okay ka lang?" She asked, "Did you dreamed about her again?"

Tumango lang ako bilang sagot.

"Maybe because it's her death anniversary today." Ani Wella.

2 years...Since I saw her face, her beautiful smile. Heard her voice and heard her singing. That was two long years.

Tumayo si Wella, "Lance okay ka ba? Tapos na kasi lunch break ko. If you want I can call Paul to be here?" She asked.

"Hindi na Wella. Salamat."

"Sure? Pupunta kami mamaya sa kanya, want to come?" Paninigurado niya.

Umiling ako, "May trabaho pa ko mamaya, susunod na lang ako."

"Okay. Sige." She said.

Tumango ako at naging hudyat yun para umalis siya.

For the past two years, I felt alone. Alam ko, nandiyan sila Wella alalayan ako noong namatay si Areeyah. They never leave me. Halos sa bahay na nga sila gabi-gabing natutulog para masiguradong hindi ako nagmumukmok buong araw.

Yes, they made me happy those times pero unti-unti ding nawala yung pagbabantay sarado nila saakin. Siguro naiisip nila na ok na ko kasi ok na sila. They moved on. Alam kong kailangan ko din gawin yun pero hindi ko magawa. Kahit anong pilit kong tanggapin na di na siya babalik in my deepest prayers I want her to live again.

I want her to be beside me again. I want to hold her hand, kiss her, embrace her and hear her I love yous again.

Pero kahit baligtarin ko man ang mundo ngayon alam kong hindi na pwede. She's gone and she will  forever be gone.

Muntikan na nga kong hindi makagraduate dahil sa nangyari. Nawala ang pagiging dean's lister ko. My grades from 1.0 became 3.0. I was banned from the varsity for that season dahil hindi ako nagpapractice.

After that, I started having dreams of her. Masaya ako kapag nakikita ko siya sa mga panaginip ko but, one thing's wrong. Everytime that I dream, lagi siyang malungkot. Lagi siyang umiiyak.

Maybe she misses me so much? Kaya mas lalo kong ginusto na sumama na sa kanya.

I was ready to come with her but, Gerald was there to make me come to my senses.

One straight punch to my face I fell hard on the ground.

"Dude! Ano ba!? Hanggang kelan ka ba magiging ganito!?" Galit niyang utas.

Hindi ako sumagot.

"Gerald! Tama na!" Sigaw ni Sandra mula sa likod.

"Manahimik ka nga muna Sandra!" Sigaw niya kay Sandra ar lumingon muli sakin, "Lance, pasensya na sa sapak ha. Pero sana natauhan ka na." Ani niya.

Tumayo ako at nagpagpag ng katawan, "I want to be with her."

He cursed, "Stop it dude you're scaring us. Alam ko Lance hindi mo ko maiintindihan kapag sinabi kong pare-parehas lang tayong nawalan. Alam mo kung gaano namin kamahal si Areeyah but then again alam kong hindi kayang pantayan ang pinagsama-sama naming pagmamahal ang pagmamahal na meron ka para sa kanya."

Hindi ako muling sumagot.

"Gusto mo ba malaman ang nararamdaman ko ngayon? Nararamdaman kong galit si Areeyah sayo ngayon."

"Paano mo nalaman?" Parang tanga kong tanong.

"Remember why did she choose to let you go? Because she wanted you happy! Ngayon sa nangyayari sayo dito? You, not being the dean's lister anymore, you quitting up the varsity team, you think she'll be happy?"

Yes I'm turning a gay again, I'm crying.

"Areeyah will be so much dissapointed at you Lance. Kaya bro, tama na to. Alam kong mahirap pero kailangan mong kayanin, kailangan natin mabuhay kahit alam nating may kulang. Kailangan nating mabuhay para sa kanya. Para maging masaya siya habang pinagmamasdan niya tayo galing sa taas."

Hindi na niya ko hinintay sumagot at tinawag si Sandra para makaalis na but Sandra refused at dire-diretso ang paglakad papunta sakin. Niyakap niya ko.

"Lance, I know deep inside you want to let go. You want to move forward but the thinking that if you let her go, you will forget her." Kumalas siya sa yakap, "Hindi ganoon yun okay? If you let her go it only means that you already accepted that she will never come back but, the memories? That will last forever I swear at sa ating lahat? Ikaw ang may pinakamagagandang memorya na kasama siya. Keep that but, you have to move on." She smiled.

Hindi niya nadin ako hinintay na makasagot pa. Iniwanan nila ako ni Gerald at doon ko naisip na baka tama sila.

I lighted up the candle and looked at her name being crafted to that heavy stone.

Areeyah Kate Almodovar
May 18, 1995-May 18, 2017
Your memories will always remain in our hearts.

If only I could turn back time and change everything but I know that I can't.

I looked the sky and watched as the stars shined brightly on it. Then there, I saw the brightest star. My brightest star.

"Baby, how are you up there? Dalawang taon na, simula nung huli kitang nakita. I hope you're not dissapointed with me anymore. Binawi ko naman lahat during the last year of college right?" I smiled.

After nang nasapak ako ni Gerald I did everything to bring my lifr back to normal. He was right. I know my baby is dissapointed with me up there in heaven and I don't want her to be dissapointed.

I'm glad that I did bring it back.

I graduated with flying colors. I graduated being the MVP of the our last season.

And my dreams began to change. She's smiling and her eyes is smiling too. Like she's good of what she's seeing.

"I miss you. I miss you so much. Thanks for visiting me in my dreams. Pero, kung ang dahilan noon ay para hindi ko makalimutan na death anniversary mo ay mali ka doon Aree, you know I'll never forget that. Like how I never forget you." I smiled.

I will never forget her. I just accepted the fact that she can't be with me anymore. Maybe she's there but she will never be physically here. She will forever live in my heart.

"Happy birthday baby, I love you so much."

The brightest star twinkled.

Baby, you'll always be my brightest star.