pure (h.s.)

forty

After the best day of my life, Harry and I decided to end the day. It's been a long, but exciting day, especially for me.

I still hasn't told Harry about Louis. Maybe i'll tell him tomorrow. I'll have to find the right time, but today didn't seem like it.

We crawled into his bed and Harry immediately put his arm over my body. My head went into his chest my arm wrapped around his torso. He kissed me on the forehead before saying the three words I won't ever be able to stop listening to.

"I love you," Harry cooed in my ear.

"I love you," I replied.

He kissed my lips and returned his head to the pillow engulfing in sleep. I didn't want to be awake, so I forced myself into sleep. Harry's heartbeat calmed me down in my state of panic. What if Louis tells Harry something? Will Harry care that Louis likes me?

All of these questions are more the reason I don't want to be awake. My eyes close and my dreams are filled with a boy I met three months ago whom I love.

I wake up to Harry's greens looking at me. When I woke, his pink lips formed a smile and he kissed my lips.

"I love you," he whispered onto my lips.

"I love you," I said wrapping my arms around him.

"Say it again," Harry instructed.

"I love you. So much," I said with a smile tugging on my lips.

"I could hear your beautiful voice say that forever," Harry said putting my head back into his chest.

Honestly, I hope he would hear forever from me.

"I've got classes tomorrow, so I need to get home and do some work," I say to Harry with sadness I'll have to leave him soon.

"Alright. I'll miss you though," Harry said with the same sadness I had.

A few kisses later, I packed my things and headed out the door. Harry told me to leave some clothes at his apartment because he didn't want me to bring a huge bag every time I came over. I'm glad he sees me being here often. This apartment was a new home to me.

I am now at my apartment working on some boring school work. My phone kept buzzing but I already knew who the texts were from. Louis. I couldn't talk to him, I didn't want to talk to him. I finally love Harry. I don't want Louis getting in the way of that.

I finished my school work and didn't feel like getting up. I rolled over on the bed and turned my lamp off. I laid on my bed until sleep overtook me. I don't remember my dreams of that night, but I would like to think they were dreams of a curly haired, green eyed boy.

Driving to school was slow. Traffic was super bad. Barely making it to school on time, I went to my first class, Spanish.

Spanish and English were so long and boring, that all I could think about was Harry. How could I not think about him? He's on my mind all the time. I didn't know how to get him out of it.

I spot Madison and the boys at lunch. I totally forgot I'd be having lunch with Louis today. Maybe I should have answered his texts.

"Hey, Calz!" Madison says.

"Hey, Madz," I say less excitedly than she does. She gives me a look trying to ask me what's wrong. I shoot her back a look saying i'll tell you later.

I don't know how I just did that, but I did.

Louis kept on looking at me while I ate my lunch, but I didn't look at him. I couldn't bare the guilt if I looked into his eyes.

Louis deserves an amazing girl that treats him well and gives him her everything. I can't be that girl because I've already given my everything to Harry.

Think about it, I'm 21 years told and this is the first time I've fallen in love. If it takes me another 21 years to fall in love again, i'd be 42. Harry is it for me. He's the last person I will fall in love with. So basically if Harry and I don't end up together, i'm dying alone.

It was time for me to get to my next class when Louis stopped me.

"Caly, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked me.

"Y-yeah, sure," I said getting a little nervous for the conversation I am about to go through.

Louis and I got up from the table and walked to no one could hear us.

I stared down at the floor for what seemed like forever until Louis spoke up, "I'm sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have said all of the things I did."

"Did you mean it?" I ask.

"Mean what?"

"Do you really like me? Do you hate Harry? Is h-he really going to leave me?" I ask getting nervous on the last question. Harry would never leave me, I think, but even thinking about the possibility is nerve wracking.

"Yes, Caly, I do like you. I told you i've liked you ever since the party. No, I don't hate Harry, I hate what he did to me. I can see he's changed a lot, but I don't know if i'm willing to give him another chance no matter if we were best mates or not. When I knew him, he left people left and right. I don't know him as well as you do, but if you say he's changed, then he probably won't leave you. He's never told a girl that he's loved them before, so no he probably won't leave you," He said with sadness in his eyes.

I wanted to cheer him up. I needed to feel like this wasn't my fault. As I hugged Louis, I could feel hot drips down my sweater. I didn't mind though, I would do anything for my best friend.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear. I'm not sure what I'm sorry for though. All I know is that I don't feel the same way about him, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that he can't bring himself to know Harry like I do.

But most of all, I'm sorry that I broke a little piece of his heart that I can't put back together.

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**honestly I feel so bad for louis. that kind of makes me so sad like ugh. that last line literally hit me like a truck.

got some good stuff coming !!!!!!!!

vote and comment queens.

-c