pure (h.s.)

forty one

Computer Science went by quickly. I finally understood what we were learning in that class. I made my way to Creative Writing, which happened to be my favorite class.

I sat down next to Madison and she spoke, "You have so much to tell me."

Sighing I said, "Yes, I know."

"After school, you're coming to my place and explaining everything."

As I am nodding my head, Professor Johnson starts to talk.

"Your assignment today is to write about what confuses your mind. Write about the things that truly trick you. Do not write that your TV confuses you when it suddenly turns off. Write about something deeper than that. I will be grading them accordingly. Your time starts now. They are due at the end of the class."

I already know what I'm going to write about. I take out my computer and start to write.

In every single one of my assignments, the topic of love has come up. Love is something that definitely confuses me, but I don't want to write about that in this assignment.

Recently, I have let myself love again. My walls have broken down fully and my heart now belongs to someone. The same someone that I have been writing about these past few months. He finally has my heart and I am praying he doesn't break it because if he does I do not think I will be able to love again.

Before I told my person I love him, my best friend tells me he has liked me all along. This is what led me to the conclusion that I love my boyfriend. This is what confuses me. I don't understand how I went from being shy and closed off to loving and likable. I also don't understand why my best friend told me he likes me if he knew this whole time. My head is spinning and spinning because I love Harry with my whole heart, but I cannot bring myself to hurt Louis. I feel as if I already have, which also confuses me.

I can't bring myself to write anymore because I can feel the hot liquid already streaming down my cheeks.

"Ms. Paretti? Do you need to come to see me for a second?" Ms. Johnson asks with a concerned face.

Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I looked down at my feet and nodded. I stood up and walked over to Ms. Johnson, hoping that no one would see me.

She motioned for me to follow her into a room I was unfamiliar with. I didn't care where we were doing, I just wanted to get away from the class. I couldn't be more embarrassed than I already was.

We finally stopped walking and Ms. Johnson spoke, "Are you okay?"

I wanted to tell the truth, but I didn't know if I should. She's my professor. She did say that she cares about her students my subconscious tells myself.

"No, I'm not," I said sniffling.

"What did you write in your assignment that is making you cry?" She asks with clear concern on her face.

So I tell her, everything. I tell her about loving Harry, about Louis liking me, and just everything. I watch her listen intently while I speak. Tears start to stream down my eyes at a more rapid pace.

"I just feel like I messed everything up," I conclude.

She takes all of the newly received information in for a second. Then she looks at me and smiles, "You didn't mess anything up. You love Harry! That's so exciting! I see the way you write about him and I knew it was bound to happen. You two are so perfect for each other."

"It is absolutely amazing. I never thought I would love again honestly, but now that I have Harry I never want to stop loving."

"That is so sweet, Caly. So about Louis," She trails off.

"I don't think our friendship is going to be the same. I mean we were best friends, but now I don't want him to get in the way of Harry and I. Everything is different now. Louis likes me. I can't let that feeling grow, right?" I ramble.

"No, you can't. Which is why you need to talk to Louis about it," She says.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"You have to make sure that your friendship isn't going to change. From the way you speak about him, I can tell that you care about him a lot. As a friend of course. You don't want that to change just because of one small detail." She looked straight into my eyes like she was reading my mind. That is exactly how I feel. I just couldn't put my thoughts to words.

"Thank you so much, Ms. Johnson. I'll talk to him soon," I smile for the first time today.

"You have fifteen minutes left of class. You don't have to finish your assignment. I'll grade what you have already. I'm sure it's phenomenal just like all of your others. You are a great writer, you know?"

"Thank you, Ms. Johnson," I said with a small smile forming on my lips.

"Have the next ten minutes to yourself. Maybe go talk to Louis, but just get out of this class," she puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles. I'm beginning to like Ms. Johnson more and more.

"Thank you so much, for everything."

"It's no problem. I'm always here for my student. Good luck with everything!" She said walking towards the door we entered. I stood there in awe. I cannot believe I just got excused from class, even if it's just fifteen minutes.

I walk out of class and into my car. I know exactly where I am going, but I'm not sure why.

I text Madison and tell her I can't come over tonight but I promise to tell her everything later.

I had no intention of going here, but I know that I have to.

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**woah woah woah. ms. johnson is such a good person omg i'm beginning to love her. and louis and caly AH what?????? like i can't even form words.

vote and comment my loves (: !!¡¡

-c