Divergent : Tris Pedrad

Chapter 28

The week went by fast and it was already Christmas break. We were all heading over to a party at Christina's. I finished squeezing into a tiny black dress, that barely covered my butt. My hair hung around my head in long waves. My lips were painted a dark red color and I wore black flats. I climbed down the stairs to meet Tobias, his mouth hanging open slightly in awe at my appearance. I gently tucked my hand behind his neck and kissed him. He tried to deepen it but I pulled away, teasing him. He frowned at me and I smirked, pulling him with me. We hopped into my car and sped off to the party. We got to her house and walked in. It was raging. Dancing people everywhere. People throwing things, chugging beers, and cheering on each other as they did reckless things. I picked up a beer and Tobias snatched it away immediately. "Babe, it's fine," I said, getting annoyed with him.

"I don't feel like getting beat up by your brothers for letting you drink," he replied quickly.

We danced together, but I ended up losing four in the madness. I had downed about 7 beers. I felt warm and tingly and I had never felt so care free. I was dancing with some girls from my school, stumbling around, laughing with them. After a while, I stumbled to the outskirts of the party, to the table with the alcohol. I grabbed another cup and started drinking it. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around to find Mar. "oh- hey marrrrr. Wasssup," I slurred, smiling widely.

"You're so shitfaced," she said with a laugh.

I stumbled but she caught my arm. "Shit, Zeke is going to kill you when you're sober," she said.

"Then let's make it worth it," I cheered, chugging the beer I had in my hand.

I grabbed Marlene and pulled her with me. She hesitantly Obliged, dancing with me. We spun around and laughed wildly. The crowd was thinning, and I was searching drunkly for my brothers. I walked into the kitchen, finding the most horrific sight. A girl, pressed against Tobias. Her lips on him. I felt vomit crawl up my throat and I turned on my heel. I broke into a run, stumbling. I pushed through crowds of people, getting outside to the cold air. I pulled my jacked right around my shoulders. It was freezing out. I felt tears on my face. Heat flared up all over my body. I had never felt this angry and embarrassed in my
Life. I knew I wasn't enough for him. I'm not pretty enough for a guy like him. I'm not curvy enough. I'm not tall enough. I'm not perfect enough. I'm damaged. I'm scarred. I'm skinny. I'm short. I'm weak. I'm nothing compared to him. I felt the tears come faster and the frigid cold numbed my body. I finally realized I was completely lost. I must have taken a wrong turn while I was so upset, getting myself lost. I recognized the area but in my drunken state it was hopeless. I sat down on a bench, the cold, biting me. I let the tears slide down my face, wetting it. My body shook. The tears became heavier and heavier. The snow under my heels crunched. I heard an engine purring and I rose my head to find the car of one of my friends Jake. His head emerged and he walked over to me, concern on his face. "What's wrong," he asked patting my back.

"Four- he kissed another girl," I slurred, nearly collapsing as I got up.

"Hey, your drunk. Let's get you home. I'm sure your brothers are worried sick," he said, gently helping me up.

"You're freezing. How long have you been out here?" He asked.

"I don't know," I slurred.

He helped me to the car and drove me back home. I refused his help getting inside. I stumbled and got inside. I turned around, slamming the door. I released a sob and pressed my head against the door. My heart ached and I felt like I could throw up. I grabbed the lamp on the table beside me and flung it against the wall. I stumbled, slamming against the wall. "Son of  a bitch!" I wailed.

I loved him so much. My mom was right. I am  nothing. I am a whore. I am useless. I wiped at my wet face. Every time I get to close to someone, it never works out. It all falls apart. "Hello?" I heard a voice call out.

I glanced up to find Zeke and Uriah, emerging from the living room. "Tris, where- whats wrong?" Zeke asked.

"Just leave me alone," I slurred, refusing his help.

"Are you drunk?" Uriah asked.

They pulled me to my feet. I stumbled into Zeke. "No, I-I'm fine," I snapped.

"Tris, you're wasted," Zeke said, agitated.

"lets get you upstairs," Uriah said.

"Just - just leave me the hell aloneeee!"' I yelled, shoving him away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Zeke asked, concern written on his face.

"I do- I don't need your stupid help!" I yelled, stumbling.

I fell over, landing right on the broken vase. I cried out, my palms slicing open. "Tris!" Uriah cried out.

Zeke easily lifted me up and carried me to the kitchen. They sat me on a stool and Zeke wiped off my arms. I felt my phone buzz and I pulled it out. Four. I denied his call immediately. I set my phone down. I had 10 missed calls from Tobias and 10 missed texts. I felt tears well up in my eyes. My arms burn as he cleaned them out. "What's wrong Ri?" Uriah asked.

"Why don't you ask Four," I snapped.

"What?" Zeke asked, anger in his voice.

"I'm fine, just- just let me go," I said trying to get up.

Uriah sat me down and Zeke bandaged my arms up. "What the hell did that son of a bitch do to you?" Zeke asked.

"How about you- go ask him," I slurred.

"Tris." Zeke said threateningly, more stern then I'd ever heard him.

Tears began running down my face and I shoved them away, getting to my feet. Zeke tried halting but I shoved him away. "Tris, stop it," Uriah warned.

"What? I'm not good enough. I'm to- to ssskinny and I'm too ugly. I-I'm not strong enough. I'm nothing. And look at him. He's so perfect," I screamed.

"Stop it! Stop saying that!" Uriah yelled back.

"You are not ugly! You are not weak! You are amazing Tris! And Four doesn't deserve you if he can't see that! Don't ever say you are nothing. You are the light of my life Tris!" Zeke said, heated anger in his voice.

We stared at each other for a moment, standing still. I fell into his arms, my cries continuing. "Hey- shhhh. I'm here for you. Forget about four okay? I'm here," he said gently.

"I-I love h-him!" I cried.

"I know. I know. He doesn't deserve you," Zeke cooed.

He linked his arms under my legs and lifted me up easily. "Let's get you to bed. You shouldn't be walking around like this," he said lovingly.

I tucked my head against his shoulder and let's my tears stain his shirt. God, I'm so pathetic. He set me down on the bed and gently removed my shoes. He pushed me back against the pillows gently and set  my phone beside me. He pulled the covers around me andkissed my forehead. "Love you," he called back to me.

Um wtf Tobias. So petty. I'm salty and I wrote it. What a bish. I'll update ASAP!